"Screw all of y'all."

Well, if they tell me they think I'm a babykilling slut with a nice card and a German chocolate cake, I can live with that.

Oh, god, Zoidberg, you dork - you spelled 'their' wrong!

Excuse me! There is only one killer queen, and there name is Queen!

Some days you get up, check the news, and go right back to bed in the vain hope that tomorrow will be better.

This kid kinda looks like that guy who had all the plastic surgery to look like Justin Bieber.

Where the hell is a zombie apocalypse when you need one?!

Ehhh...I prefer men in clothes, actually. You know those fire-fighter calendars with the half-nekkid men? I get the hots (pun intended) for a fire-fighter in full turn-out! Give me a man in uniform, baby! So, out of your list, I'd go with the jockeys and the bullfighters (even though those outfits come from horrible…

I live in Wyoming, and I can swear on a stack of pancakes covered in thick, delicious, maple syrup that we have not been taken over by Canada!

Come be an atheist, Ms. Kelly. We don't excommunicate anyone.

And her brain? Or does that not matter?

Awww...fifth grade's out for the summer and you have nothing else to do, huh?

They ignored you because they love you.

He's a celebrity?

You can have the babies. I'll take Patrick Stewart!

Thank you, I'm done for the day.

When did real life become 'The Handmaid's Tale'?

*le sigh*

We shouldn't be living in a country where this kind of product is even thought of, much less produced.