This whole thing is crazy. I had to read this part like 4 times before I could believe I was reading the words correctly.

They just don’t compare anywhere close enough to crack a top 10. Keep in mind all of the major resorts we don’t even see on that list: Beaver Creak, Vail, Snowbird, Telluride, Breckenridge, etc etc. If all you have to ski is east coast, yes, some are passable, but they just don’t compare with the big boys.

And why do we fall, Bruce?

I knew Adele and Enya. That was it.

I was actually relieved. Dead Barb stay dead.

Dark chocolate tastes like magnets. Got it.

The difference is that milk chocolate is a wonderful gift to humanity and dark chocolate is a cruel cruel joke. Dark chocolate looks like chocolate, but tastes like sadness.

Those people, the ones that are pissed at you, they are terrible people. You should remove them from your life.

How about “FFsake, you advertised a supermodel and gave us her chubby friend!”

A lot of these numbers makes sense when thinking about desirable locations or general high cost of living, but someone needs to tell me what the hell is going on with Mississippi and Arkansas? 1. Why is anyone going there? 2. Why is anyone going there?

“But bullit-edition mustangs excite me in ways I don’t know how to handle.”

You, and the 13 people who liked it, are clearly insane.

“Dash, 50, was signed by Fox in 2014 and was primarily seen on the afternoon news discussion program, Outnumbered, reports The Hill. She is best known for her character Dionne in the 1995 comedy, Clueless (too easy.)“

Also baffled at someone having trouble with a rice cooker. I’m picturing them chucking rice at a closed lid, pouring the water down their back, then throwing up their hands saying, “There’s got to be a better way!”

I always figured the halftime show was for people who don’t like football. Almost like a thank you for hanging in there.

I prefer “From less guns to more guns...”

I really wish I could be upset at this. Like, in any way at all

You spelled Houseguest wrong.

It’s funny how that works. We all need lovable oddities. Enjoy!

What in the crazy funhouse fuck is that frankenstrosity?