no, I am not.

didn't his brother die of a drug overdose?

I've heard he only dates thin, white chicks who don't like threesomes and dress modestly.

I'm agreeing with you, just not very skillfully. It's just effed up.

Ladies, here's the plan. Could we get together and create a tribe of Trojan Females who are white, thin (but big tits, right? did I miss that bit?), "clean," honest and faithful just to him, non-gamblers/money wasters, unpierced, untatooed, ginger, longhaired, etc. But inside each and every one there would be dozens…

well, darling, welcome to being a woman. This isn't race exclusive. What is bad in a woman is awesome in a man. Of course, there are things that are great in a woman that are not so great in a man (dainty! petite! not a slut!).

ugh, why am I commenting again? Giving this guy attention is like giving a crazy gun nut attention. Just ignore him. There are lots of guys like him around and they don't need any encouragement. I'm just hoping that he ends up with one of those girls who will only date guys with a certain income. And who will then…

OK, I didn't read the whole thing, because I started getting queasy and I didn't want to barf on my brand new MacBook Pro. But here's what's tragic. You just know there are women lining up to date this a-hole.

Wow. I'd like to give you a prize (if you're being serious), because this is quite amazingly thoughtful, but on the other hand if my boyfriend did this, I think I'd be creeped out. (On rereading this, I see I may have jumped to conclusions and thoughtlessly assigned a gender to you that may not in fact be accurate. Oh…

where are the tampons?

cottage cheese.

Who is writing this crap? Seriously, luxuries are a weakness? Says who?

Google Immersion Blender Hollandaise (or Blender Hollandaise). It's one of those dishes that has a lot of mystique but is actually quite simple if you follow the directions.

Well, OK, but that's certainly not my experience by a long shot. I guess if you love the flavor of canned hash (super salty and that's about it), you may find it hard to replicate, but the thrifty old-school concept behind hash (use up leftover meat and veg in a tasty, crispy, pan-fried cake) is actually quite simple…

God wishes he had invented them. They were actually invented by me to serve over crispy sweet potato-bacon-melted onion hash.

Here is the only egg poaching guide you will ever need, courtesy of the awesome Aussie chef Bill Granger, who does the world's greatest breakfast at his Sydney restaurants:

Very interesting, thank you. I had seen a video of Robert Lustig's sugar speech but hadn't realized he wrote a book. It's excellent, so thanks for the recommendation. And all the best for keeping the weight off. This is quite an achievement.

or we could just see a rise in horrific rapes, since less eligible men are pushed out of the marriage market. Oh, wait. That's already happening. Never mind.

You are going to eat your words any day now, girl. That outfit is going to be super hot with 12 year olds in about 7 months.

"I stand by my t-shirt" are truly words to live by. Thank you, Julia. You are an inspiration to all of us.