I like it, but it needs an acronym.  Official Mascot, EWNRTSGCSHITW. It’s pronounced “Ewern-Thing-Sheets-Wa”.

They should just really reduce the show lineup card to:

I honestly don’t know which of the two of them I have a bigger crush on. I think I would go equally schoolboy giggly if I ever got to meet either Megan or Nick.

If only the phrase, “I’m sorry, Mr. President, but with the government shut down we can’t fly you to Mar-A-Lago” was in the offing.

Steve Scalia?  Right racist, wrong name.

I was unaware of this alternate definition as well (from Oxford):

I’ve always thought that, thousands of years from now, the remains of our massive highway interchanges will be excavated and interpreted as columns supporting temples to the god of transportation.

Cuban suffers from exactly the same problem that all tech bros who get rich and run vanity companies do: they don’t understand that you can delegate authority, but not responsibility. He’s stuck in the “I didn’t see it! I never heard about it! It’s not my fault! Look at all the good things I did!” mindset. Even…

“BEEAAAAWWWWWW”

It’s also the same kind of dudes who are so homophobic because they’re terrified of gays hitting on them. Someone needs to break the news to them that they’re not really at any kind of risk.

Hollywood execs when they pitch the idea as their own later this year:

I hate the fact that without an “/s” tag, there are a lot of people who will believe that you’re sincere about this.

It’s always fun when the Invisible Hand bitch-slaps someone deserving.

Why does every outrageously over-expensive and over-engineered luxury food item just get laced or dusted or foiled with gold? Have some imagination for Bob’s sake. Palladium-infused sprinkles. Vanilla extract made with vanillin from the wood of the True Cross. Eggs poached in heavy water. Microgreens grown on the ISS…

I’ve never heard the term “butt boy” used in a sexual context at all. It’s always meant ass-kisser. Someone so obsequious that he would demean himself by wiping the butt of his “superior” in return for favorable treatment.  

Her goal? To eliminate public schools. That’s it. She wants all white children to go to privately-owned religious private/charter/indoctrination programs, and all other children to disappear. She is rich enough to be utterly disconnected from reality while still being ruthlessly convinced of her own superiority to…

Not to mention Rick Perry.

My grandfather worked in the Willys factory in Toledo during WW2.  I know the odds are low, but I’m imagining that he had a hand in building some of these.

“New, from Taco Bosch: the Burrito Dentata.  Are you eating it, or is it eating you?”