Big deal. Suspicious packages were being sent all over the Jets facilities, and there wasn't a single explosion.

@EddieSuttons SouthernComfort: Sheen: You get a piece of this ball, I'll let you name it.

Five 8-balls "the size of my fist,"

@vodkanaut: My best guess is that a future version of All Over But The Sharting posted this as some kind of cryptic warning to present-day All Over But The Sharting.

@PolkPanther: We'll never be able to get rid of the smell. And, you know what, I'm kinda OK with that.

@All Over But The Sharting: Were you just trying to commit suicide-by-Ninja?

Unlike every other reed in the Mississippi, this one wasn't done in by the oil.

@Hurricane_Ditka: What can I say, I like to make a splash!

@WhatWouldTebowDo?: I once knew a man from B-More.

Unlike his brother, Brian Reed just couldn't make it to safety.

@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: +1

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: +1

See, kids, smoking is bad for you!

The Cellulightning

Curds and Weight

I just never thought that his tampon would fall out on national TV.

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: I'm bloody sick of this as well.

@Sheed's Bald Spot: +1

@Tulos_Mullet: I'll admit it: that made me laugh.

@A Duck With a Lisp: What Jim Abbott sees when viewing this chart.