Fantastic.

The punches that Williams threw were, coincidentally, the best throws anyone at Auburn had seen all year.

On the bright side, C.C. Sabathia finally has some drinking buddies again.

You’re so right the people that are paid to know the rulebook should get a pass imo

Are you there, God? It’s me, DogFister. I sit here before you, asking as a humble/self-loathing Lions fan, why do you hate us?

Blatter: “Hello, DraftKings?”

I mean, I know they’re generally run down, decrepit, dirty, and they smell funny, but didn’t it get expensive buying everyone a car?

At least with the hurricane force winds and flooding, the stadium’s field conditions will likely improve.

3 muffs in the stands? Jeter-esque.

Nitro Coffee belongs here, and quite high on the list. Bulletproof belongs as well, but quite low.

If only every player had a gun on the field, it would be much safer.

Schilling later apologized for his post featuring Dr. Ben Carson, as he didn’t want his fans to think he would ever support a minority.

It’s a normal thing, with the Jets, seeing a fumble caused by an asshole.

6-8 weeks, is what Twitter is abuzz with.

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done/had happen to you at the office? Be honest.

Roethlisberger: “Are we going for two?”

Other things Jerry Jones finds to be a thing of beauty:

#BillsMuffia

Reports of harassment have been filed against this baby by 9 different playdates across 4 playgrounds.

*Sees ball flying through the air*