[KTVU Reporter]: This just in...KTVU has learned that two Bay-Area Natives were among the 23 injured during the 'Running Of The Bulls' in Pamplona. These individuals have been identified as Gordon B. Hind and Noam Oarlegs.

"You call that penetration?"

A friend of mine recently asked me to help him wax the hair off his back. How do I tell him that I never want to speak to him again?

Ignore this.

Didn't you get the memo?

Oden tried to manage a smile, but was afraid his ACL wouldn't hold up.

Were they built for speed, or built for comfort?

If anyone makes a "re-count" joke, I will personally shit in their cereal.

Did he crash his Ferrari into it later?

As an expert on breaking ankles, I think he'll be a great fit.

I came here expecting to see a bunch of assholes, but the picture doesn't get all the bikers clearly in the shot.

It's okay, Dwight...the Coors Light aluminum bottle knows how you feel.

This makes me so happy. He better be doing this every game:

*Looks at Morris Claiborne*

What happens if/when you don't win and in 2 or 3 years Dwight says he's unhappy? A coaching change? Trade Harden? Trade depth for another "star"? He's already asked if he could make roster decisions, and he's all but gutted two franchises...I'd be worried if I was Houston. Excited, but worried as well.

So in 15 years he'll be a self-proclaimed peace ambassador to whatever country hates us at that time?

Quite possibly the best thing ever.

Manny being Kenny...

Ah, the irony. Becoming a vegetable trying to cook a vegetable.