The woman on the top deck assured Mario that despite what it looks like, she actually prefers the motion of the ocean

Yes. Saturday. Papaya.

Yea, that's good.

The tribe reportedly told Dan Snyder to "shove it" and Snyder responded that he couldn't, which is why he was building the skate park for them and not himself.

When reached for comment, Donald Sterling maintained his bigoted stance, saying that he "Doesn't care about the opinions of cripples"

Phone rings

Joe Maddon: We're not gonna win any games with just a solo!

I would have thought a guy like Callahan would be better suited to help someone pump the brakes

Ha yup. I can't read. Thanks

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Lucky guy! From the looks of it he's also holding Puig's home run ball

Immaculate +1

I had a really vivid dream last night that Drew answered my Funbag question despite the fact that I've never once submitted a question to Funbag. The question I asked was "What celebrity's phone number would be the coolest to randomly have in your contacts?". I'm not sure if I meant you knew the person or just…

God dammit. Why did this make me laugh so hard.

Not to be outdone, Pablo Sandoval had three grand slams after the game.

Italians, and especially those who love baseball, are known for communicating with their hands. Even back in the day, Joe DiMaggio's were famous for saying "I don't like women"

Italians, and especially those who love baseball, are known for communicating with their hands. Even back in the day, Joe DiMaggio's were famous for saying "I don't like woman"

A complete overhaul of the Target field urinal system will also allow enterprising fans to sell their beer back

HA!

Doctor: Good morning, Mr. Embiid. I reviewed your x-rays and it appears we're going to need to shut you down for a little while. Light weight lifting, swimming, and stretching are permitted, but due to your recent health issues, you're going to have to hold off on putting the city on your back, or kicking around the…