At 21. My father.

I hear that one. My mother sent me to Weight Watchers when I was 10. I had to go to the meetings. It was all adult women, many of whom were trying to lose baby weight, and then there was me. I was in fifth grade. And if you’re a size 8, you’re making lots of good choices. Try not to be hard on yourself; that’s been…

“You need to lose 10lbs off your butt” - THE LAST WORDS MY GRANDMOTHER SAID TO ME BEFORE SHE HAD A STROKE AND BECAME NONVERBAL AND DIED.

Oh, hell, my pediatrician once expressed extreme horror at my weight when I was in the 7th grade. He weighed me and then actually said, “You don’t LOOK that heavy!!” in this completely stunned voice. Then he told me to lay off the bananas.

Oh yes, make sure you whore it up with the makeup so you get the correct hairstyle:

WTF.

I like to think he was emasculated (good, fucker) because I was two inches taller than him. He’s a fuckface.

My mom and grandmother were OBSESSED with my fucking hair as a kid. I have A LOT of hair. Like a braid would be almost two inches thick and neither of them would let me cut it so it was down to my lower back. They’d never let me cut it because it was “so pretty” (yeah but you don’t have to fucking wash it and dry it…

I’m 6 ft tall, and was by 8th grade. So grateful my parents just said “be proud of your height.”

Well, you know boys that look like him don’t stay with girls that look like you without money.

What is wrong with your aunt? Miserable cow!

I was 16 and getting ready for my first Homecoming dance with my girlfriends, which I would be attending with my first (and very new) boyfriend. We had scheduled appointments to get our hair done that afternoon, followed by makeup appointments a little later. Thus, it seemed logical to me that I did not have any…

I don’t know if I could pick the meanest one, there are too many. My dad (the comments about my weight were the hardest as a kid), mother, grandmother, aunts, all like to make comments about my clothing, hair, tattoos, weight, etc. Their fascination with women having long hair and being “dainty” (Bitches it’s never…

I call my mom’s house to say hello to my aunt and cousin who had just flown in for my wedding.

“You eat too much, no wonder you’re fat” - Mom. Fairly recently, as I have been severely underweight for most of my life and gained a bit of weight as soon as I left home to go live on my own. I’m finally healthy but she doesn’t see it that way.

Your mom thought she was unpopular because of her weight. In reality it was her shit-ass personality.

I was 12, it was Christmas and we were heading to a holiday party. I was mid-growth spurt, lots of puppy fat, and nothing fit me. I only had two dress-up options, so I picked one - the wrong one, apparently, which was communicated thus:

My mom has some serious snark in her game. She also feels that it’s her motherly obligation to take me to the airport every week (I travel for work) despite the fact that the company would pay for a cab or for me to leave my car at the airport.

“Boys don’t like fatties.” My mom told me that about a thousand times. Guess what? Boys like me fine.

My dad, who is partial to women with teeny tiny frames, used to sort of whack my awkward pubescent shoulders and ask “When did you get such broad shoulders?” As if he thought patting them hard enough would magically shrink them down. I felt ashamed that I apparently had a body no man would like.