His first mistake is the assumption that he will go to heaven. Ban on killing is among the 10 Commandments. No matter his motivation, he has fucking murdered people. That’s not heaven material, no matter how you twist it.

Schools in Europe do (well, at least, in some parts of Europe). September 1st is always the first day of school in my country (unless it falls on a weekend, then the first day is whichever closest day falls on the Monday).

It’s really hard to rhyme when you’re penetrating.

With the state of sexual education in the US, I wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised if 6th grade kids considered “having sex” to be touching a boob or something. There are plenty of high school seniors who have no idea how sex works, much less middle school kids.

And if she did have “boobs and booty”, she would be called a slut who sleeps with everyone (just because she had boobs).

The piece includes a picture of her, in lingerie, smiling happily while clutching a framed photo of Josh.

He should get a Hungarian Horntail tattoo. Like Harry Potter.

There’s one guy near the edge of the picture who looks like he might be mixed race, maybe (or maybe it’s just the lighting). That should be enough diversity, right?

If Jesus himself is supporting this clown’s candidacy, as that gentleman seems to believe, then I’ve never been gladder for not being a Christian. I wonder if Jesus would feel embarrassed by these people’s antics. I definitely would, if someone misused my name like that.

Yep. Didn’t you know that every time a fat lady dares to be happy in public, a kitten dies? It’s a real tragedy that must be stopped at all costs.

Post pictures of beer? Videotape yourself wrestling bears? Make them a sandwich? I have no idea.

Yeah, all those men who beat their wife/girlfriend to death in a fit of rage totally operated on pure logic.

Oral sex could be bit of a problem though.

DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

This is totally not a brand plug, nope, no siree. We just happen to have all the packagings turned towards the camera, but it’s a total coincidence. Brand promotion? Never heard of ‘em.

My money’s on clay-eating, vagina sunbathing Shailene Woodley.

Please, somebody give Tara Jacoby some kind of an award for this. Her illustrations are always on point and hilarious.

“What forms of welfare, if any, do you support for the 10 year old parent?”

Exactly. We do exist, we just happen to be a minority. My body loves building muscles, too. I can go for months without exercise, then do a few weightlifting sessions and boom, muscles are back. When I lifted regularly, my shoulders couldn’t fit into my favorite coat anymore because I had bulked up too much. It’s…