That would only work in some countries. Some languages and cultures (Eastern Europe for example) have different surname forms for men and women. So those women wouldn’t win, either.

Or just putting the ketchup straight on the fries. My friends do that all the time and none of them has died/caught cooties yet.

Please, don’t. If you do, she will have even more children to pass her crazy on.

The turtle’s expression is priceless.

What I took away from this is: Don’t have children. Children ruin everything.

Why are the boobs at completely different heights?

I thought it was Thor, not Jesus. Maybe he lost his hammer when he landed, got confused and picked up that flag instead because it looks kinda like his cape?

At around 12:30 a.m, he began sitting and lying down in the street in an attempt to commit suicide by getting hit by oncoming traffic.

“How dare those people die and ruin my dream day? God, my brother has the worst timing ever. Couldn’t he just wait a few days and shoot up the church AFTER my wedding? Now I’ve lost the deposit and have to do it all over again. What a drag.”

“Yeah, I know there were, like, people killed by my brother or something, but who cares, they were black. MY WEDDING THOUGH!!!!!111!!! Gimme back my wedding!”

It’s a pun. They’re trying to be clever.

Sir Winton was an amazing man who would be dearly missed. I had the pleasure to meet him twice during ceremonials in his honour and he was an incredibly humble, courteous man.

Please just not Jennifer Lawrence. One creepily older guy is enough for her.

If someone you’re interested in isn’t answering your texts within five minutes, they are either dead, at a movie (and still have manners), or just don’t want to date you.

What’s more, they know it’s their insecurity and immaturity driving the decision to bail without anything like a grown-up conversation.

People like the rose petal lady are probably really disappointed by the fact that (old school, Downton Abbey-style) servants aren’t a thing anymore. They probably imagine themselves as some rich asshole, bossing maids around. Bullying restaurant servers is probably the closest thing they will ever get to living out…

iggy who?

My heart aches for his plight, truly. God knows that straight white Christian men have never had it eas- Oh wait.

Stair has since deleted his Facebook account, but I will bet you exactly one queer-as-fuck three dollar bill that he’s going to tell people he was driven off Facebook by intolerant gays who wouldn’t respect his views or right to free speech.

An Assembly member who opposes the bill, Rep. Jim Patterson, suggested that requiring children to be vaccinated is like sending them to a concentration camp or an internment camp.