This looks delicious. If the kid doesn’t want it, can I have it? Can this lady cook for me? I’ll happily eat all the shrimp in the world.

Yeah, they do. I live in Europe and we’re currently battling a child obesity epidemic because the kids are picky little shits who refuse to eat perfectly good food. The school canteens in my country actually cook pretty well-balanced, healthy meals (not all of them are always super tasty, but they’re definitely…

Well, the aliens from Mars probably found his report on the presence of “female children” particularly helpful. It’s part of a larger essay about human eating habits.

Boobs I can’t touch aren’t worth that much to me. Only the aesthetics bumped this place to two stars.

“will not be adding this to possible lunch destination.Also, at least one of the waitress’ was wearing undergarments that were several sizes too small.”

*minor AoU spoilers*

That’s my favorite scene as well. No matter how many times I watch it, it never fails to give me the chills. So powerful.

What is this guy? Five? Calling people ugly is, like, elementary school-level insult.

Apparently, every single time this lady gets waxed, her skin COMES OFF WITH IT

This. I started to cut my hair on my own because the hairdressers never respect my wishes. They see waist-length hair and just go wild on it. I say I want them to cut off two inches, they cut five or more. And no, this isn’t an issue of me having weak, damaged ends because I let it grow for too long - my hair grows…

For me, the thing that nagged me most in the Harry Potter books was just how woefully incompetent most of the adults were, especially Dumbledore.

In completely unrelated news, the number of coathangers sold at IKEA just doubled.

Hilary Duff says a story about Hilary Duff finding love on Tinder would be “the story of the year.”

How about no? I get that some women are special amazing flowers whose menstrual blood is purer than unicorn tears, and who see their period as a way to commune with nature, or whatever, but from me, it’s one big, resounding nope.

I read this cut-off headline as Robin Williams: Suicide. Finally. and had a brief ragestroke that someone would ever run a headline like this.

“I rub truffles on my nipples.”

What a bunch of horrible savages, forcing women to carry unwanted pregnancies to term and give birth to children conceived from rape. Why, here in the USA, the pinnacle of human civilization, we would never-

...of the 234 women recently rescued by the Nigerian army after being abducted by Boko Haram last year, a staggering number of them—214—are pregnant.

What’s the point in trying to show off enhancing make-up techniques if the models have full, plump lips already? I would find this mindblowing if the make-up helped someone go from thin lips to Angelina Jolie, but all these women already have very nice, full, symmetrical lips.

Oh, for fuck’s sake, people. Even the dinosaur that is the Catholic Church has accepted evolution as fact ages ago. Do you want to be even more backwards than them? Because that is exactly what you’ll be if you promote this.