And by "Triborough," I'm gonna assume you're from the tri-state area. And you—and I can personally vouch for this—drive like a spazmodick. In Detroit, everybody knows how to drive. They know how to pass at 90 mph on an Interstate covered with ice, they know how to launch from the line whether they're riding a moped…

Wrong. You drive a Ford truck, you are not even in the Big Three of the hats you call ass. Ram? Certainly. GM? Definitely. Ford? Nope.

....and Deathspiral's death throes get sadder.

Roy: "Shane, ya know, the Spurs...

His point about cows and fish made some sense. What's your excuse?

Sarah Silverman has a few words for Jerry Lewis.

Being a useless waste of space in an emergency does not bode well for your spawn. How long can you work the "I am an American gutless coward" shtick? Being pathetic for a profession is a sure tickect to being played out.

"Dontcha just hate when those bicycle pumps don't pump like the bicycle pumps I remember pumping? Dontcha just hate it when you wish for Andy Rooney's brain, and they INCLUDE THE LATE-LIFE DEMENTIA as part of the deal?"

If you read Kurt Busiek's and George Perez' JLA/Avengers, both Bats and Supes both decide that Steve Rogers is the master tactician to lead the combined team. As Bum Phillips once said about Don Shula: "He can take his'n and beat your'n, and he can take your'n and beat his'n."

"Over der they call it foosball, which I just don't get. And dey have these fantasy foosball leagues, which I just don't get. Sorry, the attraction of dese fantasy leagues, it just eludes me. Sorry. To each his own, I guess, but I just don't get it."

Not to mention Montana won a national championship at Notre Dame, where Dan Devine used the "whatever sticks to the wall" system.

Goddam Spurs are getting too old for this shit.

Fucking Garcia. That tapas-tasting tool.

Seconded. I watch all the ESPN broadcasts on mute. And the studio show is hideous. Simmons, squealing like a piece of poultry, and Wilbon, a scrunchy Yoda with worse syntax. I love Magic and I do like Jalen, but ESPN's basketball coverage is unbearable with the sound on.

Hey. Give Deathspiral.com a break. They're obsessed with the fact that Disney/ESPN is laying off people (to, obviously, replace them with cheaper people) and they don't realize that they work for a little media company that ponders the same thing, each and every day.

The Spurs are getting too old for this winning and losing shit.

You guys are missing the point, as usual. This is how Disney rolls: Lay off 400, replace them with 800 at half the price. This is the company threatening to fire half the cast of "The Avengers" because they deem them all replaceable if they up their salary demands.

Is Gizmodo now Kotaku, or vice versa? I can't tell the difference.

Is this trilogy meant to be a prequel to Ben Stiller's "Permanent Midnight?" Because that movie still bums me the fuck out.