You must be very brave to drink with Dennis Rodman and live to tell about it, to psychoanalyze how Dennis Rodman's persona ate Dennis Rodman, to leave puddles under your chair while pretending to drink at a Dennis Rodman pace. You must be very brave not to bring up the Dennis Rodman/Vinnie Johnson triangle offense,…

In related news, the CDC has identified Morganna as Agent Zero in the oral herpes epidemic.

This word, "vagina?" I call it the altar.

I'm guessing this was a $47 bong packed with $400 worth of crack.

Raised a glance? Glass.

Damn! It took a long time, but I finally get it. +1

I think Paul Ryan is capable of it. I think he said he already did it.

..but it is just as good!

Damn, great article. I fleetingly thought I had an original thought.

I only remember "In the immortal words of Ren and Stimpy, Happy Happy Joy Joy."

What would Jesus do?

The trick is to not post shameful things while drunk. The trick is to have no shame even when you're sober. Embarrassment doesn't exist if you don't give a shit.

"See! See!"

Deftly dealt. +1

Well, corporate Big Jock will always influence the helmet conversation. But why not take a look at some of the providers of motorcycle helmets, pilot helmets, race car helmets? I use a French-made Shark and have broken every bone except for...dur...what's that bone in the head? And though Claudia's article was…

My sister married into money and my parents had to spring for a bank account-blitzing bash at a fancy joint with hundreds of people. I was coked out of my gills and, understandably, went up to the microphone and said:

Agreed about WD-40. In a pinch, it works if you have sex with post-menopausal women.

How do I clean breast milk off my rented tuxedo?

I was at a wedding at which the best man closed his brief speech quoting lines from "Ren and Stimpy." Six stoners went into laugh convulsions and about 200 other people looked like they were watching the opening number in "Springtime for Hitler."

Fun facts about Uranus: