The site says the package includes a plane with an "enclosed lavatory." Whooo, fancy shmancy, Mr. Gronk. Do I need to update my vaccinations before I shake your hand?

Or you are in Cabo, and WAY UNDER 21.

Hope I don't choke during the championship suckfest!

So many of life's frustrations come from the gag reflex.

But Brian Jones wound up in Davy Jones' Locker.

Attempted to steal candy? I hope there wasn't a baby involved. Nobody could fuck up something so easy.

Woodson is one of ours because he was the defensive wizard as an assistant coach to Larry Brown when the Pistons won the championship in 2004 and came within 7 minutes of winning a second in 2005. We don't have much, so we claim what we can.

Community reference! Called it.

OK. Take this as a lesson learned in the in-the-moment sportswriter delusional department. I couldn't imagine how you could have fucked up more.

They paid me to live there, and, just like in the movie SLC Punk, there is an underground resistance to provide aid and comfort.

That about sums it up. Knicks hanging around just delays the start of the Premier League season. My coach of the year, Michigan's own Mike Woodson, seriously fucked up the pace of the playoffs.

Let me guess: Holland? Wayland? Somewhere within a 30-mile radius of Grand Rapids?

The whole doc is free for viewing on vimeo.com, by the way.

It would kinda cool to intervene so H. didn't die for our sins. That would seriously fuck up the crazed religious right.

Philly never deserved McNabb. He should have gone to Chicago when he had his first free agency. McNabb deserved better than what Philly gave him, whether he was being dissed by TO or Rush Limbaugh or the local head of the NAACP, he had great years that outweigh the blown-out-of-proportion missteps. Fuck…

It's all good. I got the boxed set with CDs, alterna-takes, DVDs with all the concert footage and yet—about two years ago, a documentary pops up and is criminally overlooked. Get "When You're Strange," basically a real-life remake of the Oliver Stone movie starring the actual players. Johnny Depp does a narration…

Terrific choice from an underrated album by the best band ever. Guitarist who played with his fingernails with a flamenco background, drummer from a Big Band swing background, classical keyboardist who laid down the bass line with his left hand. And that fucking singer was what Mick Jagger wants to be when he grows…

Yeah, the director's cut of Aliens just added some love handles to a lean and sleek flick. Director's cuts rarely seem to work; Apocalypse Now the most abysmal example. Frankly, Ridley Scott's elmination of the narration and epilogue for "Bladerunner" didn't make it better, but his THIRD cut was absolute…

I think I'd go with the Marilyn Monroe pep talk.

This is truly sad. Even though he gave Craig Kilborn his only material, this guy had the balls to stick with his preferred name and not cop to Rick or Ricky or Richard. Takes a man to shrug off having a punchline name and still excel at his sport for as long as he did.