Imagine a cop did this to your kid. In fact, imagine anyone did this to your kid.

A Viking allergic to seafood is pretty ironic. It’s like a Bear allergic to throwing FOUR FUCKING INTERCEPTIONS AGAINST THE GODDAMN PACKERS EVERY FUCKING GAME!

Baseball is a relic of a gone-and-forgotten America eulogized only by assholes like Keith Olbermann and George F. Will.

I could definitely take Malala.

You got it all wrong, Samer. You start with the most difficult kid to beat up. Not the easiest. Good lord man, I mean is this your first time beating up kids?? Jeez...

Maybe he confused the special teams coach with one of the cheerleaders?

The Cowboys have reached a new low; I mean, really? You sign a guy like this...There’s a reason he’s a free agent to begin with. And then you start him. Unbelievable. Matt Cassel might just end up being Jerry Jone’s biggest regret.

If he remembers to call ahead, Jerry’s surprise face can be out of cold storage and ready in 90 minutes!

As a Tennessee fan, I was shocked to see this going on in front of Derek Dooley, who seemingly stood there doing nothing while things fell apart around him. That’s not the Dooley I know—what happened to his orange pants?

This guy is a disgrace, and should be cut so the Bills can pick him up.

Lincoln Chafee is the perfect embodiment of how fucking bleak the early 2000s were for anyone without a raging hard on for pillaging the Third World. Those votes would have made him pretty liberal among Clintonian Democrats, I don’t know how he lasted as long as he did in the Bush Republican party.

He probably makes his meatloaf from ground Ewoks.

You could also not employ matadors as offensive linemen.

Imagine, if you will, having to have sex with incredibly attractive men to maintain your social position. It’d be kind of a drag, right? Not something you’d be super pumped about?

Kenworthy says. “I know hooking up with hot girls doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world. But I literally would sleep with a girl and then cry about it afterward. I’m like, ‘What am I doing? I don’t know what I’m doing.

He was going to come out on Grantland, but he actually wanted the world to know.

This is an outrage. This Wes Anderson hot take will not stand. Life Aquatic was terrific.

“Houston is a city known for the diversity and exceptionalism of its hard working people. We are also a city that works to ensure that everyone is treated respectfully and fairly.”