It goes without saying that Chuck C Johnson was not in attendance.

Greatest Klaus Nomi tribute performance ever.

I know. I put them there.

I used to work for Cablevision in Massachusetts a long time ago. One day it came down from Corporate that we could no longer use voicemail. Turns out that ol' Jimbo had left a message for some Marketing exec and didn't get a return call quick enough, so he deemed that voicemail shall be wiped from existence. A few…

Partial list of dickheads based on my own horrible prejudices: 1. Shock Jocks from Orlando who sit in front of Real Radio Monsters signs, and apparently beat their wives. 2. I'm done.

He may be a dickhead but he's a brilliant writer (I have read him) whereas Weiner is a popular fiction hack who is totally trying to blame sexism for the fact that she's not taken seriously, when the reality is that she's not taken seriously because she writes generic, badly written fluff that is fine for planes or…

Wow. That is a badass story dude.

Several things I have come across during my days in the Navy while visiting local strip clubs in ports we visited...(if I can recall correctly).

Dear C.A. Pinkham,

"A beer called 'Beast Mode'? No thanks, I'll pass."

Preferably? Never o'clock.

Satan himself wouldn't look Oakley in the eye, if he knew what was good for him.

He took a deep breath and exhaled. He thought back to the calming words he learned. Barely audibly, he recited the mantra:

I'm guessing she was a Tressel fan, even Pryor to the tattoo.

I'd do it for a bottle of Woodford.

Has America completely forgotten the extreme threat mountain lions pose to our hammocks?

"Please."

This NBA Player of the Month Award is brought to you by Peter King. MAYBE.

It's a tortured pun based in the wrong city, but "2nd Stringer Bell."

2014: NFL suspends Gordon 10 games