And it’s lovely big sister....

that would be buying debt

Maybe the entire Volkswagen Group? I hear they could use the cash.

I absolutely heart your choices but I feel like the duo is begging to have an additional team member:

BMW turns 100 tomorrow and in German tradition, they will celebrate by getting drunk and buying out another brand.

Raises hand... please make him just go away. I don’t know what needs to be done to recall him, but my vote for that is yes.

I just feel bad for all of the people who didn't vote for him and are stuck with him anyway.

It’s Parkinson’s law taken to its highest extreme.

Oh my God. That totally explains it. EEEEKKKK!

A great line.

These do sound like Stewart. His presence is seriously missed during this election. *Sigh* John Oliver is the closest thing I have to his perfect combo of being hilarious and explaining issues sooooo in-depth and yet so easy to understand. *Double sigh*

I’m moving to NJ in 5 months. Pls no.

some men just want to watch the world burn

Maybe he reached out to Jon Stewart?

Hey you lot elected him now it’s time to take him back. Despite how little you might want him there or how little he wants to be there.

“And look, I told Barack, if you really, really want to remake the Supreme Court, nominate Cruz. Before you know it, you’ll have eight vacancies.”

“Donald has attacked every person of color – except John Boehner.”

Isn’t that because they both have orange-ish Oompa-Loompa ancestors?

I’m so scared of Trump that I can’t find any jokes about him funny. Like I chuckle for a moment but they all just serve as reminders of how much he will destroy the country if he was elected.

Nooooo! Uncle Joe, the people of New Jersey mostly do not deserve this. Take it back.

I’mma suspend disbelief a bit and decide that Joe Biden came up with this himself.