• A closet for House-O to hangout in until you decide it's time to let him out to make fun of the Yankees!

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"Listen, this is whatah I've been tryin' to tell the suits herah at Fox. This soccer stuff they put on instead of myah show is sleep inducing. In fact, the comas carry over to several days latah."

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Oh you. +1

[reads caption]

Adrian Peterson merely gave the same words of wisdom he tells anyone who asks him for some advice: "Beat 'em."

If he wanted to interact with an unresponsive Volunteer, he should've just located Pat Summitt and asked her what she had for breakfast.

Reporters knew something was amiss with Ron's explanation upon noticing that one of the decorative cherry trees in the conference room had been chopped down. When questioned, while holding an axe, Washington responded, "I have absolutely no idea who did that."

Leon: Can't believe that updog.

(they couldn't fit everything on the board!)

Nice. +1

Tom Brady: The "E" stands for Elite.

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And mail your envelopes of ricin to:

Leather-lunged assholes are ejected from baseball stadiums, but leather-tongued assholes are allowed to do play-by-play of the Home Run Derby. This is back-back-back-backwards.

A spokesman for Ahn Sang-soo delivered the following statement: "The mayor does not plan to address the matter publicly at this time. He's embarrassed by the incident and seriously considering quitting politics all together. Basically, he's a shell of his former self."

That's why British fans stick to taking the piss out of the opposing goalkeeper instead.