Wardrobe provided by John Daly, Inc.

The streets of Sochi really are strewn with litter.

Soldier: You're lucky we let you go, comrade. The last time Putin's fence was peed on the culprit had to be put down.

Brunell: We've got to find a way to get rid of the scourge of "grass" invading our fields!

Hey! Hey person! Your feet are weird!

+1

That's not even the worst revisionist history occurring in Alabama. Students are still issued textbooks that celebrate Robert E. Lee bravely leading the Confederacy to victory in the Civil War.

[whips out magnifying glass]

+1

"Just a quick follow-up. Would you say that you and your 'boys' [does air quotes]...I believe that's what you whippersnappers call each other...make it rain more or less than the average annual rainfall in Seattle?"

"By 2017, you won't merely be ready to acknowledge that Bud Selig is the greatest commissioner of all time. You'll be ready to hand him the Nobel Peace Prize. And you would hand it to him, but he's already won three. You think that a man of his stature should be Dictator of the World, but that is even beneath what…

If not for all the complications stemming from her osteoporosis, Sally Field would stand in solidarity with them.

Actually, the saddest and least-effective crossover series was the one hosted by John Edward.

+1

The players also made a pact that no one would sit with him in the MLB cafeteria during lunch period.

Urban Meyer (Still finishing a Papa John's pizza)

If they'd been talking about the Chicago Bears QB situation, this would've been completely on-topic.

How are we supposed to get to Cooperstown when we're all strictly forbidden from leaving our parents' basements?

There were tears. A lot. On both sides.

This is fantastic.