[two seconds later]

Head Coach: I'm going to make you eat your words!

Riley Cooper: I'm so sorry about what I said, but you're not even the coach here anymore Mr. Reid!

Head Coach: Fine, more for me then! [begins eating pages from War and Peace]

The key in these legal battles is to try to cut through the usual bureaucratic red tape, and just take a stab, or two, at it. You don't want to have to get your hands dirty, though, so it's best to use (kid) gloves when dealing with the parole board.

if the union decides to go to bat for Rodriguez

Donald Sterling also had *them banned in the Los Angeles Clippers front office.

Brandi Chastain wore it better.

For sale: One gently used rocket. Perfect for arena/stadium entrances. Interested parties should contact Sir Elton John.

I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day the House Judiciary Committee recommended Nixon be impeached. I just hate this day. True Tricky Dick fans know what I mean.

Sadly, their beautiful wedding ceremony was ruined when, uninvited guest, Joey Crawford strode up to the alter, shoved Marat Kogut out of the way, and broke the glass.

The way he sees himself is obviously going to be slanted.

It's refreshing to read a story about splatting on a boat that doesn't involve the Minnesota Vikings.

Tester: In reference to the current state of your being with regard to your upcoming nuptials, you listed "Confused," "Scared," "Certain," "Okay," "Necessary," "Sad," "Guilty," "Mixed Feelings," and "Forced Into It," on the questionnaire. Hmm. This won't do at all. We're just going to put "Excited More Than Words Can…

Orlando Brown had the same ambition, but he didn't take into account idiotic "yellow flags."

+1

She's unbelievably talented, but fronting the heavy metal band Muted Despair wasn't Marlee Matlin's best decision.

Wow. +1

Charles: I just have to ask you. Does the carpet match the drapes?

[RGIII's phone vibrates, text message appears]

+1

Star players typically phone it in during preseason games anyway.