I wish I was Britney-fat.

If I dont put on eyebrows, I look like some sort of weird alien hybrid. I would hate to have people actively TRYING to take terrible photos of me all the time.

On what planet is Britney fat?

Did they just photoshop a wider face onto Halle Berry for that North West at 21 photo?

Who are these people who give a shit what North West will look like in twenty years? I want to know. I want to meet them in person and give them some books or DVD's or crafting supplies or a fucking jump rope—LITERALLY ANYTHING THAT WILL OCCUPY THEM—because they have way too much free time.

Damn, if #1 didn't sound exactly like the first meeting I had with the training staff at my gym... It was almost word for word that, and I won't even admit what I paid them per hour because it was sad and makes me cringe every time I think of it.

What a long way to go for a joke that is in no way funny. Your mom probably told you that you were funny. She was wrong.

/Hamilton Nolan sets up reminder to reach out to guy in 1 year.

Not that I think that this particular situation is a big deal, but if we're being real, falling is significantly different from being flung. That you use the former as a euphemism for the latter serves to point out how little regard large corporations have for individual results, an attitude that trickles down from…

Not the same as a fall from 48". Clearly Fed Ex doesn't want their drivers chucking their packages like this.

Maybe why you're a former UPS employee?

Yeah.. I deliver babies and I basically do the same thing.

As a former UPS employee, I can tell you that every package has been tossed like this. When loading a big truck I would build a wall with the big packages, and then just toss the small sort on top, from like 50 feet away.

I don't blame him, he probably couldn't stand to get any closer to those rotting, two-month old pumpkins.

I was a passenger in a rollover accident when I was 16. I was not wearing a seat belt and was tossed about the vehicle until it stopped rolling. It seemed to take forever and it was oddly serene. Once we came to a stop I sat up and couldn't find or feel my right arm. The humerus had broken cleanly and my arm was…

If she just stays down she will be simultaneously starting and stopping the swelling on her face.

I don't know about the USA but here in the UK there's a rather nifty law called the consumer credit act and the even niftier section 75 of it. If you make any purchase between £100 and £30,000 on a credit card then the card issuer is equally liable for that purchase. So even if the company goes bankrupt you can get…

I recall a time when I worked at a Gamestop that closed down. One of the last things we had to do was go through the system and close out all remaining pre-orders and put them on gift cards. I saw pre-orders from I believe snes still in there. I'm talking ancient merchandise. The DM said not to contact them, just put…

Basically, when a company goes into administration, they lose all rights to the money they have available and everything has to go through a third party. "Administration" is just a fancy word for "Bankruptcy" for businesses.

Maybe it was the most convenient option for him?