Did you miss the story about Bill O'Reilly and Beyonce or something?

I think maybe he was tweeting during the commercial break? And totally ignored her like those assholes who check their phones while you're trying to have a conversation. That's what I got out of it.

Oh, c'mon now. Lena did that schtick to get famous. Now that she is famous, all the tricks of body sculpture are needed to get her to the awards podium.

I'll pay $10,000 to anyone who can erase her nude image from my brain from the pictures I just "binged".

And here's an unretouched image of Jezebel.

Here you go.

So Jezebel is offering $10,000 for pre-Photoshop images from Lena'sVogueshoot.

Pictured before airbrush:

Done.

I just think Annie Leibowitz photography should just be considered illustration—because that's basically what it is. I didn't think the pictures of Lena were that great either—they turn her into the celebrity mold which is super boring. That is why she is so interesting—she is unique, and not the vapid, open mouthed,…

Where is my money?

$10k for this but the same media conglomerate wouldn't pay $200k for a video of the mayor of one of the hemisphere's largest cities smoking crack and using slurs?!

Done. Make check payable to "Giant A-hole" c/o me.

Here you go!

Why wouldn't Lena Dunham, who appears to be a smart woman, pose for Vogue without some kind of contractual obligation on their part to not photoshop her into a different body type?

How do you get Lena Dunham in bed? Piece of cake.

I will pay $10K to never have to see or hear about here again.

No Thanks.

ZOMG I AM SO AWKWARD AND UNATTRACTIVE AT EVERY MOMENT DOWN TO MY CANKLES.