Especially when their starting C only plays 25 minutes a game except in case of emergency.

That’s not how none pizza with left beef is supposed to work.

“Welcome to the Philadelphia 76ers! Time for your mysterious nagging injury.”

Fuck you, take back what you just said about cats this instant.

If Wendy’s covered everything they serve with Thousand Island dressing, it would be indistinguishable from In-N-Out.

Then you run into the problem that these characters are only a few generations removed from Olan/Orlan Durai, though.

Go directly to jail.

The crazy thing is that Record Keeper is one of the most *player-friendly* gacha games, in that you can spend no money at all and still get enough good stuff to make it feel like you’re playing with cheat codes. But the gambling is still so addictive in and of itself that people will still spend thousands of dollars…

You can blame the ownership, though.

Completely aside from this bet, let’s take a moment to consider the kind of person who, in the seconds after a record-setting, nail-biting victory, in the throes of adrenaline, calls his teammate “you son of a gun”.

It would be awesome if he did, especially since when you consider bonuses Wentz’s game check is less than half of his pay per week.

Longest field goal in Eagles history, longest field goal by a rookie, and longest FG at that stadium. I think Caleb Sturgis just lost his job...

“What is he doing?”

Speaking as a Pennsylvania native and football fan: Burn Beaver Stadium to the ground.

And then he ends up with a team that’s so far out of contention that you could replace their early summer record with an unbroken two-month winning streak and they’d still be trailing in their division.

Even if you believe that Colin Kaepernick, Super Bowl Quarterback, was the product of a read-offense system that’s not tenable in the NFL in 2017, you’d have to take way more blows to the head than Cam Newton to think he’s a worse play in a traditional pro offense than Keith Fucking Wenning. When you have to play…

Joel Osteen looks like a douchier version of Tim Allen, which is a bar that gets harder to clear every time Allen posts something on Twitter and yet Osteen keeps pulling it off.

It serves as excellent proof Lauren’s comment that Stafford’s Lions almost always beat the teams they ought to beat, and almost never upset the teams that ought to beat them. The problem is that they’ve never been good enough to put a winning team in the “ought to lose to the Lions” column.

No, but neither did Mike McCarthy and you’d be amazed how often those two non-events balance each other out.

Most football teams: Restrict starters’ playing time in the preseason to reduce the risk of injuries.