On the bright side, they missed out on this election too

Playing the anthem early pretty much proves the uselessness of playing it at all, right?

MURDER LOL IDK

Well, since Republican voters go out of their way to shoot themselves in the face and vote against their best interests, it seems appropriate their chosen congressmen will do the same.

Kourtney is “pregnant with Bieber’s baby.

Same! We moved nine weeks into my senior year across the country: MD to Utah. My mom was getting remarried, and my mom tried to make the move easier (like getting in touch with the drama teacher at my new high school), but she was also firm about it. Luckily, my stepfather felt super-guilty about the move, so he…

I sent her a nice email:

With moderate to severe dyslexia I would expect spelling errors and difficulty with cursive handwriting.

“National Vulva-t”

JIA I’M LITERALLY ABOUT TO WALK OUT THE DOOR TO GET LUNCH. AND NOW I KNOW WHAT I’M GETTING.

Michael Schiavo was treated horribly and got the worst raw deal when the fucking congress intervened to collude with Terry’s parents’ denial and he was straight up demonized in the right wing press. It was monstrous how this whole thing was treated like a political football. I had to stop watching. There was something…

And for most of existence, women haven’t had the privilege of not showing up. No matter how sick or busy, they couldn’t stop mothering. Women have been working around the clock, rain or snow or plague or shine, for millenia.

Honestly, I think it’s because as a female you are worried you’ll be judged if you don’t show up. Dudes just take for granted that they can stay home when they are sick, their kid is sick, or it’s dangerous to travel.

For those prices, you’d expect it to taste like cocaine water.

Brad Pitt draws poop on everything.

The dead end was frustrating, because, as a fat feminist, I was hungry to find out who the original poster could be so I could then eat them.

How can a moment that wasn’t any of ours’ favorite sports moment of the year be a glaring omission from a list of our favorite sports moments of the year?

I almost ruined it for the kids I babysit last year because I had no idea what it was and what you’re supposed to do with it (or not do with it). I touched it and the kids freaked the fuck out and accused me if killing his magic or some shit. Then I had to bullshit some story on the spot about how the elf can get his…

Not sure if this counts, but I lived in Seattle working retail for two years, and wasn’t making enough to afford a plane ticket home. So for Christmas, I made plans for some friends to come to my place so we could all commiserate. I made dinner, this unnecessarily complex version of eggplant parm that calls for…