Man, I haven't seen a leak that bad since the RMS Lusitania!!

[Abraham Lincoln comes back from the dead] [sees sad little 'Save Steve Smith' rally]

+1 /dying

When asked about the trade, Harbaugh remarked "I've got 49er problems and now a bitch is most certainly one"

And Lo, in that men's room on this most sacred of days, a new Kardashian was brought forth in to this world.

You're really breaking some new ground here, Albert. Didn't think I'd ever hear "This is fun" used in the same sentence as anything ever attributed to Slate.

Are you lost? Should I issue a silver alert?

Cross-post this to Gawker's new weekend nursing home edition, Phlegmbot

Jesus you must've been one helluva boring kid. Lucky Charms at the bottom? And Cracklin Oat Bran not in the top 5? Boring adult too smh

Durant: [sees finger] Aww man, that looks like it really hurts. Did that happen during your fall?

Yep, I can totally remember two bosses and they both sucked. One was a crazy, egomaniac, ruining everything he touched and alienating his base on a regular basis. The other created Kinja.

Burn in hay-ell

Looking to keep Palmer safe from Rice, authorities have sequestered her in a local McDonald's ball pit

+1

+1

Exactly how terrible is Macklemore?

-a

Reporter: Hey Alex, just one last question- when you were out there, were you thinking about your recently deceased brother?

Coincidentally, in the Gordon house, people are more worried about tripping over a fruit.

+1