I have to throw people out all the time who yell, “Show me your cock.”

He is voting for Gary Johnson “because I don’t know much about him!”

This saddens me. Now there is literally no way he’ll see the inside of a jail cell.

Black Girl Nerds is, as always, on point. Representation is great, but quality of representation matters, and I wonder what quality of representation we’ll be getting from Bendis or Millar (who has inserted a black female protagonist into his new Kick-Ass sequel).

Jermanine’s hair looks like a reverse Mickey Mouse hairline.

Pictured: Trump’s death bed.

#notalllatinas think he’s a great monster! Some of us think he’s a flatulant small handed impotent monster who has to wear diapers at night and cries in the shower, who only messes up facts because he never learned to read and only hates brown people because he’s never properly figured out how to tan his skin enough,…

a New York Jew with a copy of the Times tucked into her bag.

I like to compress them down into diamonds, which I then wear.

I wear dresses, leggings, and flats because they are easier to put on. A couple of months ago my coworker asked if I constantly wore dresses as a “religious thing” which I found odd because the dresses I wear aren’t very conservative. Her eyebrows reached a new level when I explained that I do it because it is…

TOO MANY WOMEN ON MY TV

How do you know when someone is a vegan?

Uh oh. I accidentally saw an email last night that my cat sent to this photgrapher setting up a special photography session with his wonderful owner NEXT WEEK.

How is Rabbies Formed?

“American Bitch is a focus on the issues of the lesbian pure bred dog owner.”

Right how much do we think Bob Saget and Candace Cameron actually hate each other?

I am confused. Why would I force a person to play basketball with me if he/she was dressed like a basketball player? Does that happen? Forced basketballery?