It’s her! She’s pregnant!

“Also, why is there a BLACK Entertainment Television, but not a WHITE Entertainment television? And why do we have GAY Pride Week, but not STRAIGHT Pride Week?”

• An ambitious corn dog that escaped from the concession stand at a rural Alabama fairground, stole an unattended wig, hopped a freight train to Atlantic City and never looked back

Hope you’re all big Cymbeline fans!

We stayed together for about four more years. Needless to say our sex life became quite interesting/amazing after this. It honestly didn’t bother me that much, being monogamous and living in the Hamptons and then NYC wasn’t really an interest of mine or his. We are still friends on Facebook, and would occasionally run…

When I was 20, I was working at a bookstore and living with my boyfriend, who also worked at the same bookstore. It was a small bookstore, with only 7 employees and when the holiday party rolled around we all went to a bar in Montouk and proceeded to get ripped. I had lost track of my boyfriend and started to make out…

By “Holiday” do you mean the Good Friday when I hooked up with super hot Alex? Or the Easter Sunday when I met him at the family brunch and learned he was my dad’s half-sister’s son?

Hold up... I thought Lucas got bought out. She killed him? I mean, I didn’t like the prequels either, but that seems harsh, Carrie.

“What am I going to tell my kid about why she’s in that outfit?”

Don’t worry, they just said they are looking for 3 white men, so they’ll change that title from terrorists to loners pretty soon here.

aw shit yall we got a trekkie ready to start some shit in here

How do you hate women that much that the idea of them having any agency in their bodies inspires enough rage to commit murder?

Nope, she didn’t draw it.

Yeah, but a site called Wonkette picked it up and I believe the first column will be Monday.

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

Oh, honey, please what is this amateur nonsense. I am the Queen of Sleep. I am a sleep pro. You get an A for effort, but your execution is all wrong.

Jerking off to the thought of denying refugee children entry to America.

YOUR FACE IS OVERRATED