“...she’s cheer captain and I’m SACRIFICING A BLACK GOAT TO OUR LORD AND MASTER THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS LUCIFER... on the bleachers.”

I can’t remember which article in the past originated this wonderful gif, but I can’t help but think of it everytime Walnuts opens his fool mouth.

THAT description belongs on the list.
Bravo, darling!

If she were a trans* individual making that joke, more power to her. However, she is not, and therefore she doesn’t get to make light of being something so downtrodden in our society.

If someone’s offended by blackface it doesn’t mean we’re all assuming black people have no sense of humor.

I actually just bought Dr Zoidberg a big bag of diet food...

And she has a lovely home with her husband, Ray Dropofgoldensun.

I have to disagree. If we don’t tell our partners what we want, how the hell are we going to get it? Granted, I am heartless enough to have stopped partners both mid-kiss and mid-coitus to completely end the festivities, but you don’t have to be all I AM THE KISS OVERLORD YOU SHALL OBEY MY WISHES YOU INADEQUATE SNAIL…

How thick of a foundation do you prefer? I’ve battled bad skin since I was 12, and pretty much any attempt at foundation made everything worse. A couple years ago I started on the BB Cream train and I am never looking back!

This 3’x4’ fake painting of a matador. Which I then carried with me to two different bars, left it behind, and spent three days trying to get it back. (I was successful)

Absolutely not, but I would GO TO TOWN on Kate McKinnon dressed as him...

“Nine To Five” by Miss Dolly Parton. It’s a tough one but so so worth it.

Her husband could not be reached for comment:

I was a fat ten-year-old tomboy, and since it was summer, sweaty and wearing my favorite baseball cap that never got washed. This random teenager I had never seen came over as I was fixing the chain on my bicycle and asked if I had a boyfriend. I said “No, and I don’t want one.” He sat down right beside me on the…

Dear Matt McGorry:

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY VAGINA!

I grew up down the road from literally miles of cemeteries, and all of them banned fake flowers—the caretakers would gather them up and just kind of throw them to the edge of the perimeter fences. So my sister and I would walk along collecting them to sew the cloth flowers into Barbie clothes.

It wasn't until much…

I have NEVER needed this gif more in all my years of reading things online.

I hope the lights on that tree aren't the kind that all die if one bulb burns out....

It reminds me of when McDonald's rolled out its "Philly Cheesesteaks" and actually tried selling them in Philly. They were like the equivalent of if Helen Keller was told what a cheesesteak was and then asked to cook one.