When my daughter was 3 or 4 years old I’d make omelets for her and used food coloring to make them pink. Well, I get a call from daycare from someone horrified that she puked and it was all pink worried that there was something terribly wrong with her. I almost laughed, but held composure and told them what I had done.

The cynical question is: By letting him keep the money does that help their case if he chooses to unretire at some point and wants to play for the Colts.

$90,000

Growing up in New Jersey Getting dicked was when you went to tackle or two hand touch the runner eluded your grasp. I always imagined it originated from Eric Dickerson's name and had nothing to do with, uh, dicks 

Andrew Luck means Drew as a day to completely rewrite his Colts WYTS entry.

We’re going to see a situation where the large majority of kids playing are from the poorest demographic once all the rock and middle class bow out because of the health risks. You’re left with the poorest kids playing it because it is a way out of poverty either through college or pros.

Sheetz is low rent Wawa.

If you have box of 10 pens, 7 disappear within six months. The next two stick around another 6 months. The last one sticks around for like a year.

The more of a surplus you have the easier they are to lose.

“You walk into your house from back from food shopping, and your wife and kids are not to be seen. What you do see is all of your ex-girlfriends, drinking tea with stern looks on their faces. What do you do?”

This baseball also punched a hole in the roof, exited the atmosphere, traveled through space, then pierced and destroyed the Deathstar.
It must be made out of some fantastical Force material.

I get what you’re saying, but the rules are stacked for the offense in today’s game and if you are going against Brady with a 10 point lead and 10 minutes to go that’s a losing proposition 90% of the time if you don’t score a TD. With any decent QB it’s a toss-up. 10 minutes should get you at least two possessions.

If nothing else your Jeep has/had crumple zones!

I always assumed you got better performance the more you spend. But that’s what assuming does for you!

I’m impressed that the upper trim levels don’t include any performance upgrades and that any trim level can get a performance upgrade. So the best performing car (for now) might be base model with performance option, so like just under $65k.

He also used to trim the thick waistband part of his jockstrap to make himself lighter.

“pus-chugging clown”

I get that there are a lot of people regionally stranded in that they don’t really have a local team, but for those that do...

The thing is rooting for another team only because you think your local fans are garbage is stupid because the grass is always greener. I guarantee you that most teams have their share of terrible fans and we like to poke fun at certain places (OK, whatever), but don’t kid yourself on the quality of fans from places…

And if your favorite teams are the Yankees AND the Cowboys and you live in neither place (although maybe that doesn’t matter) then you are a garbage person with no wiggle room.

That taking dog comes out of nowhere. I'm sad they didn't animate him flossing with everyone else at the end.