You liked frozen nougat, but missed the best candy bar to freeze for this: 3 Musketeers.

Yes. The real monsters aren’t the top-scrapers, it’s the barbarians who put out rock-hard frozen butter from the fridge on the dinner table to go with the fluffy light dinner rolls. Might as well apply the butter with the immersion blender, the carnage will be the same.

This take is irredeemably bad. I Can’t Believe it’s Not Better.

It should have been you, Zack Hample.

Tom, should you focus on his penis when his balls are the real story? I understand the confusion since there’s not a vas deferens between the two.

For the love of god, just switch to anal.

The BJ Raji Hajj

He just dunked on Risch and Rubio.

I actually think this is a great way to relate to the common wrestling fan, who is also married to his thirteen-year-old cousin.

Hernandez thought having Hall represent him gave him an Outsider’s Edge.

He died doing what he loved...

Interesting new tact for NFL players: Suspend yourself before Goodell can

Wow, this guy just can’t stop killing people. 

You know, those uniforms remind me of something equally odious...

Do they not have tacos in Argentina?

So it isn’t enough to excel at my job? I also have to spend hours every week playing grab-ass and pretending to care about the musings and inconveniences of people with six-figure incomes? You know what, fine. I would play camp counselor with a smile on my face if I could talk about my problems like, “Hey Charles,…

“I heard you liked this stuff...”

yes, because there have already been arrests made