I can shit into a bag, drunk or not. Never done it, but I’m confident in my abilities. I’m not going to run home and try it out or anything, but alls I’m saying is, you need a bag filled with some shit, I can do it for you. Ziploc, target bag, one of those gift bags specifically for wine bottles, I’ll hit the bottom…

If you were looking for a factual contrapositive to the poster’s statement, then you must’ve confused me with a journalist or who gives a rat’s ass. I’m neither.

this needs more stars.

Think of all the people who were wearing a helmet in the wrong place at the wrong time. JFK, MLK, RFK, Reagan, Trayvon Martin, that Vietnamese guy they executed in the street. #HelmetedLivesMatter

This was an extremely productive twelve minutes:

Did Martha Stewart take this picture or something?

I only wish Mr. Halloran could see the physical challenges that the dead citizens face following their fatal encounter. None are able to return to the streets.

Mammareally think you should get off the beach. It’s your breast chance for survival. Others have duct into storm shelters. The swells are likely to reach massive proportions. Only a boob would stay out in these conditions. You’re likely to get knockered on your ass. You’ve milked all you can out of the conditions.…

My guess is that there is far less pressure on Girardi from the front office to put A-Rod into the game for sentimental purposes. Jeter, on the other hand, had a year long retirement victory lap that the Yankees were heavily invested in.

If Punta Gorda doesn’t mean “fat cunt” then I don’t know shit about Spanish.

It also looks like he is in position to jerk off two dicks at the same time.

Michael Cudlitz from the Walking Dead. OR IS IT?!

I’m closing on a house next week. Any tips?

Strong take against a noted non-Jew-boy.

He really spanked it, and it was quite the rope. He looked elated after that blast. Lots of force. I wonder what the exit velocity was.

Pretty sure the most common word shouted by parents to their kids at sporting events is “Hustle” - everyone is comfortable using it, including clueless parents who have no clue what they are watching. If they see what looks like effort, they say “Good Hustle!” even if the kid just royally fucked up.

You’re both way off on your utensil metrics. Utensils need to stab, scoop, and cut. The fork, then, is clearly the most versatile of all utensils, as it can handle all three to varying degrees. The knife can stab and cut, but cannot scoop. The spoon can cut and scoop, but it cannot stab. Just ask OJ.

Came here to make a Heath Ledger Joker comment, and am glad to know humanity has me covered.