1) Rocky

Classic Waterpik and roll

One evening, I ran for an N Train at the Astoria Boulevard stop that I’d spied coming from Ditmars, diving for a miraculously empty (or so I thought) car. I looked through the window of the door between the cars and spied a completely packed car. I instantly knew something was amiss, as the only time this ever happens…

If The Band That Can’t Be Killed can’t be killed, then why do you need bulletproof vests? If anything, shouldn’t you be painting targets on your bare chests in grease paint that runs as you work up quite a dander while rocking?

Rumor has it, Lady Bird Johnson walked in on Lyndon balls deep in a secretary on the resolute desk, and Lyndon was pissed at the Secret Service for not running interference.

Similar experience. I was on Jersey transit, and took a twenty minute call from my wife. I kept my voice as low as I could, eliciting some frustrating misheard statements. At the end of the call, a late 60s woman stood up, walked to my row (I was on the inside of a three-seat grouping) and said, “I know this isn’t the…

Specifically the fine point! Never had a problem with them.

Specifically the fine point! Never had a problem with them.

This guy is already the number 1 contender for the Intercontinental Championship.

Oh, it’s there. Bottom right corner, right next to his goofy-as-fuck headshot.

Upon realizing Dan Orlovsky was still an NFL quarterback, despite his noted lack of presence, I googled him. This is the image google pulled for his little sidebar bio:

Can’t speak to his Microbrew, but Darren Sharper’s Cider is the hardest cider in the league.

Dude conveniently did not respond to your trenchant comment, probably because it is devastating to his ill-formed attempt at the hottest of sprots takes. Everyone should just link to your comment as the appropriate rebuttal to this person’s medical-grade butthurt.

I’m really on the fence as to whether or not that second video featured an F5 or an Attitude Adjustment.

I’m guessing Refsnyder banged Girardi’s daughter or something. No reason that guy didn’t play more, especially after September call-ups.

It is a real person, though it does sound like a particularly nasty venereal disease.

My favorite page out of Girardi’s binders for the last few months has been “Fuck this game, here comes Chasen Shreve.”

It’s like the invisible Gorilla video. You’re too busy counting the slaps to notice the zubaz.

Best Sorority Sisters in Baseball.

As an addendum to the silent phone answering technique of America’s worst and dullest at institutions of higher education, I also work at a college, though, I’m an academic adviser. Every so often, we have to call students who are turding out in their classes and ask if they are okay. This usually happens around…

I voted no, only to nominate myself. My best friend from high school got married a few years ago, and during the reception, I got really drunk, lost my wallet, was convinced one of the groomsmen (I didn’t know which one) had my wallet in their tuxedo jacket pocket, conducted a very drunken investigation of each…