Just once? I was, ironically, beaten over the head with them.

And for this, Learned Hand is honored by having a residence hall named after him at SUNY Stony Brook. Seriously.

Really sharp commentary. Cuts me to the core.

My friends and I once tried calling a phone sex hotline in college, but I was going to call and speak in my normal voice instead of the rugged, breathy, manly voice that would seem appropriate for phone-sex relations. I thought it would be absurdly hilarious to call and talk like I was ordering a pizza, but be talking…

I’m positive Quicken owns Mint, but all it takes is one hacker, and then my financial life is FUBAR.

I am not wild about putting my passwords and usernames into mint.com, even though I’m sure it’s super trustworthy, so I devised a google spreadsheet that we manually update. It does all the guess work, we just need to enter the date, the location, the amount spent, and the part of the budget from whence it comes. It’s…

Yeah, but if you go to Mary Anne's Hammocks, the nice thing about that place is Mary Anne gets in the hammock with you.

Yeah, but if you go to Mary Anne's Hammocks, the nice thing about that place is Mary Anne gets in the hammock with…

“Not funny, man.”

It’s impossible, at this point, for A-Rod to have a heartwarming comeback story. Whatever he accomplishes from here on out with be greeted with either skepticism (people are already talking about him being back on the juice) or grudging respect.

Can’t get past the fact that Crampons sound like croissant tampons.

It’s not drawn out, it’s #BostonLong

coupled with your username, that’s a fantastic double entendre.

Bachelor parties are the perfect time to get all of your friends together and realize that your high school friends, college friends, and work friends all have absolutely nothing in common with each other. It's like counting the rings of a tree: you can chart your interests and maturity based on what stories your…

I always liked the idea of doing away with July and August, so that September-December’s prefixes made sense again, and having ten months of 36 days each. There would be, additionally, two equinox days and two solstice days that do not belong to any month, as well as “New Years Day” which does not belong to a month,…

This must be the hole where Cards fans stuff all their shame.

I wonder how disappointed philatelists are that this is potentially the new Flying Jenny.

This Swiftian gem is way better than your star count reflects!

When I was in college, my suite mate pranked me by going on my computer and downloading some of the most vile scat porn known to man through limewire or KaZaA or whatever file sharing tool was most popular at the time. I got him back by going into his Word dictionary and setting an auto-replace to switch the spelling…

Any reason, if I wanted to just watch one show on HBO, like, say, Game of Thrones, why I wouldn’t just sign up the month the GoT finale hits, so I could stream and catch up, then cancel after that month, paying only 14.99 a year? I mean, other than being an utter cheapskate?