I would contend that the free market isn't really "free." (it costs a buck-oh-five) There are lobbying groups that fight for loopholes and exceptions for mostly large businesses who have the capital to pay lobbying groups to affect policy and legislation. Just look at the data on companies like GE who don't pay taxes…

Most underrated part of the Mechanical Pencil is the eraser. It never fucks up the paper, and it always erases ALL of the pencil mark. A wooden pencil's eraser tends to either smear the graphite around, or leave some trace of the original marking, which is death on scantrons, especially for dickhead teachers who…

Interesting that Adrian Peterson portrays himself as Aladdin in this fantasy. He's very clearly Prince Achmed:

Someone once left a bunch of shitty homemade chocolates in our office, and the box had an origin story typed in 8-point font that traced the roots of the recipes back to late 20s Germany, and had elements of escape from Nazi persecution woven into the tale, as well as a touch of Depression-era success as immigrant…

I hope I never care about anything so much as the stabby guy cares about being flipped off.

Consider it done. Coal fired anything is something I want to be a part of. When I first moved to Columbus in 2007 (for grad school, before I moved away and then back again) I was fed Adriaticos, which is Sicilian pizza. I was told it was the "Best pizza in Columbus." Then, a while later, I was fed Donatos, which I…

Since Wikipedia doesn't have a specific page for Ohio pizza, I'll assume you're referring to the kind that is served by Donatos. That is dog shit on a tortilla. They sell something that looks like a fat guy ate a bunch of Sriracha, and then threw up all over the pizza. Donatos is pizza for idiots.

I'm so goddamn stupid, I woke up this morning and thought "It is mother fucking dark out here. What happened?" The Daylight Savings Time switch is awful.

If I know anything about Syracuse, those players will do Fine.

I count a bottom-freezer stainless steel fridge, a stainless steel wall oven with either a second wall oven above it, or an inset microwave, a glass cooktop, a stainless steel dishwasher, a stainless steel beer fridge all the way to the left, and either a second dishwasher, second beer fridge, or some type of trash…

From your assessment of the reanimated Elvis's needs, the resurrected person would come back with the body in the condition it was when they expired, right? Lincoln and JFK would both come back as Massive Headwound Harry. Probably something to consider. You may want Mama Cass, who just choked on a Ham Sandwich or…

When I lived in NY (moved in August), I was on the 4/5 from 59th street/Lex to the Bronx. In addition to the acrobats and mariachi bands, I also had this weird old asian dude who played some version of Kenny G on an electric saxomaphone. After each "song" he would bow curtly.

I don't think that was the main thrust of the article. Rather, with an upcoming distraction that would serve to keep Josh Hamilton from relapsing (Barry points out that all of Hamilton's relapses during his MLB career have come during the off-season,) if Major League Baseball were truly concerned for the ongoing…

I listened! I'm a daily Carolla listener. I miss Alison.

I think you're confusing "effort" with a "distraction". I would not make the argument that NASCAR drivers are athletes, but it would be mighty difficult to slam H while navigating the "esses" at Watkins Glen.

Did anyone see Real Time with Bill Maher a few weeks ago, with Johann Hari? He discussed this exact sentiment of keeping addicts busy as a way to avoid relapses. Without getting too into the weeds about his argument, he basically says that the ideas behind addiction came from lab studies with Rats who were placed in…

You should definitely have sex with him, just in case it's me.

I see it as black and blue, but my wife sees it as white and gold, because she is FUCKING WRONG AND TOTALLY COOL WITH HER WRONGNESS.

As a New Yorker now living in Ohio, I knew to expect "Pop" vs "Soda." I did not expect "sweeper" in place of "vacuum cleaner," nor did I expect the common and ubiquitous omission of "to be" in directive commands. Instead of saying "this needs to be picked up," I hear "this needs picked up." It is near-universal for…

Hell, they can't even keep the fucking mariachi band out of my car on the subway. No way they are going to be able to stop the dude from listening to his music on speakerphone.