Who is Kellen Moore? According to Dallas Cowboys bloggers that I’ve been reading: apparently the greatest young offensive mind the NFL has ever seen.

I respect your commitment to big boy accuracy

Andrew Luck 2012: *Takes a sack* Great job, man. Insane hustle. You really got me.

Andrew Luck 2019: You even just look at the ceiling and wish you could stop existing? Like, not die, but just POOF and cease being altogether. Maybe it’s nothing but motionless, soundless black. Complete emptiness. Nothingness. But it’s…

I hope that NFL players take note of the lack of empathy people have shown Andrew Luck during this entire process. Don’t feel guilty about hold-outs for more money. Get as much money as you can and get the hell out before it becomes a detriment to your health. 

This is really gonna fuck with Magary’s WYTS entry on Monday.

He doesn’t “own a toothbrush”

Actually, isn’t the city’s biggest celebrity a fictional character from a movie?

I went back to visit my folks a few months back at their retirement home and they turned on the 11 o’clock news with Gardner. It was like I was transported back to my Star Wars (original) PJs- wearing 8 year old self. Dude’s got to be like 107 now.

Yeah that bullshit on another team’s entry made me finally set up AdBlock.  Apparently there were 53 ads on that page!

I had the exact same fucking Vivid Seats ad literally 23 times while reading the fans comments on this post. Spanfeller has done more to fuck up this site in two weeks than Peter Thiel has done in his lifetime. 

Last season I found myself hanging out in an airport bar, and the guy next to me started chatting. A Steelers game was on, and he asked me if I knew who Big Ben was. I said “sure, you mean the bathroom rapist?”

“the Jersey guy said what I thought was the best trash talking line I have ever heard... “Listen, I beat the shit out guys like you on the way to a fight.””

Yeah, you hate to ever compliment anyone from Jersey, but that is pretty spectacular. 

Big Ben is the least likable player in a league that employs Tom Brady. I now have to root for asshole Antonio Brown to have a huge season for Jon Fucking Gruden because the alternative would bring joy to this mongoloid fanbase. If you could Thanos-snap every Steeler fan out of existence, a Republican would never win…

If all the racist, misogynist, nativist, white supremacist pieces of MAGA garbage actually won every front of the culture war, the males of the species would all be emulating Ben Roethlisberger.

The dogs, they’re a-whistlin’ in these comments baby

The city of Charlotte is the collective love child of a White Claw Hard Seltzer and a vape pen

“Dad? Hey, Dad? How you doing? Just, you know. I’m fine. Yeah. Yeah. It’s just you’re big on the Internet now. Well, not the whole thing. The snarky, obnoxious corner of it. No, not that. No. No, not reddit. Smaller, but a good group of guys. They like you a lot now. They put down their dick jokes for 5 minutes to say…

Okay, let’s humor your premise here Hamilton.

The acting is really subtle, particularly from Mads/Gillian, and I've always been curious whether people *didn't* pick on it (a lot of ppl seem not to in this thread!), because it actually impacts me with a lot *more* emotional immediacy than regular TV/movie acting. I think my subconscious finds it more realistic. I…