Sharing a division with the Cowboys, Giants, and Washington is like having Martin Shkreli, the Mooch, and Milo Yiannopoulos for brothers. You don’t have to do ANYTHING to be the most popular member of that family, but our fans will find a way to fuck it up anyway.

Noooooo it’s the last one!

There are like five public figure Chris Evanses floating around, and every single time I do a double-take.

This is brilliant! Since the internet commentariat isn’t feeding us enough clueless butthurt this year, it’s definitely best to source your own locally. I gotta try this in my own office.

First day here?

I don’t know, I’m definitely enjoying the Garoppolo trade so far.

Oh yeah. Inject it right into my veins.

We actually moved to the east coast when I was pretty young.  Still a Niners fan for life, though!

Yeah.  After I moved out of NYC it took me an embarrassingly long time to stop asking for ‘coffee regular’ and then getting upset when I didn’t get it with a cream and two sugars.

What, because I don’t know any people who terrorize their young children and families with unrestrained rage tantrums about football games, I’m lying or delusional? Seriously? Goddamn, standards for behavior really ARE low out there, I guess. But yeah, no, it’s true. Maybe y’all just need better friends.  And guess…

LOL

Dude, Craig. Black coffee has no cream or sugar in it! If you want sugar you gotta say “black with sugar” if they’re dressing it up for you. Black coffee is just coffee in a cup with nothing else.

That said, diner tables that don’t already have little sugars and Sweet n’ Low or whatever on them, as well as napkins and…

Then fuck them, too, and they should all be banned from watching television while their families are in the house. What the fuck is that excuse-making nonsense. Oh I was upset my team was shitting the bed so I emotionally terrorized my kids and family for a few hours. Just business as usual. The fuck out of here with…

I feel terrible for all the birds who were harmed in the making of this WYTS entry. 

How do I unpack the amount of emotional trauma this team has done to my wife and kids due to my rage from this team. My wife begged me to shut off the TV during the third quarter of the Championship because I was literally scaring the shit out of my kids because of the screaming/crying/rage.

A bar so low you gotta dig to find it.

They smacked the Steelers around (twice! Hah!) which was fantastic, but then pissed all that good will away against the Pats. I just don’t know, Jacksonville. Your QB has one of the funniest names in the entire NFL to say, right up there with Gabbert. Bortles! It’s hilarious. And Jalen Ramsey is legitimately…

Back on the Baltimore WYTS, some clever fella made a list of the most likely caller names to local sports radio for all the teams. It was hilarious and awesome, and after he posted it, there was a second one, a postscript, where he had to add the Arizona entry, because he’d forgotten them and left them off. Everyone…

That is downright adorable. Dude is living in a fairy tale world! He’s got the mirror, the ghosts of christmases past, the imaginary soul of Donald Trump, the works. I mean, not that we all haven’t wanted to retreat into our childrens’ stories from time to time over the last decade--I mean, two years--but still. Wow. T…

that ‘game manager’ schtick was tired even before he left San Francisco. Just because a dude is risk-averse enough to not get you slaughtered with last-minute garbage-time hail-mary pick-sixes does NOT make him a game manager. And what is that bullshit anyway? Managing a game is LITERALLY a quarterback’s job. Every QB …