cats are trainable, it just takes more patience and different reinforcment techniques.

I still think the best description of what childbirth is like comes from Carol Burnett: "grab your bottom lip, and then pull it over your head."

Congratulations! Also "Trek Mex" is the name of my new Theramin-centered mariachi cover band.

this is obviously a definition of "open" of which I was not previously aware.

same joke, different comedian.

replace "jeweled crown" with "Hope Diamond" and that's going to be me

how about Dick and Jane then?

yeah but if it had been a white President in a black suit, then... something something Benghazi something.

If Buzz really thinks he's going to die the first time Woody accidentally opens his helmet, how would he have maintained his cool and not leave his toy form if Andy did the same thing—which he probably would have done seeing that Buzz is, ya know, a toy.

Early in the movie, Bo Peep makes a very suggestive comment to Woody when she asks: "What do you say I get someone else to watch the sheep tonight?" But assuming that Woody and Bo Peep follow the mainstream trends in action figure design, both of them probably weren't made to be perfectly...anatomically correct. So…

aww his mom made him a bowtie out of a dish towel, how sweet

say what you want about Carrot Top but I have loved him forever because he pissed off Leann Rimes with just one joke: "Leann Rimes" "No it don't"

seriously:

so does Burger King know that when they relocate to Canada they're going to be downgraded to Prince Regent?

Hail Eris!

you see it as one star, I see it as one more than I would have given you

according to Angry Asian Man, the guy's been fired. So it went from "typographical error" to "firing offense."

hanging out there in the backyard with his kid's water pistol going TA POKETA POKETA POKETA - Walter Mitty PD

no, it's the other way around. There's a difference between the Christian Right (ie: pentecostal, lutheran) and the Christian Left (ie: episcopalian, unitarian) and that depending on your personal emphasis, your politics tends to fall in line with it. The CR, it seems to me, tends to be evangelical and more interested…

I totally sympathize with LW1 because I'm in the same boat, only for "best friend" read "brother who I'm having to live with right now." I had no idea he was like this when I moved in but my situation is such I have no job and no home and so I'm stuck holding my tongue and not rocking the boat until I can get back on…