give him a goddamned chess board and tell him to stuff it.

tl;dr "I haven't seen it/experienced it, therefore not only is it not happening, but you're all making it up/experiencing it incorrectly"

I dunno, Richard Burton never took second billing from anyone, including Liz. Not even as a kid. You might just have to try for twins.

middle name: Traffic Accidents. Oh wait that's two names. Well maybe you could hyphenate it: Cornjob Traffic-Accidents Nerd.

can I come over too, I have some Killer Shrew drink mix left from the last snowstorm...

Rocky: Again?

Iwould say a double feature of The Day The Earth Froze and Jack Frost would be timely and on subject. Also funny as hell (are you with the bride or the failure?)

so help me if I hear one "we hired the best person we could get regardless of gender but who totally happened to be a guy" I will slap someone into the next geological epoch.

Pluto's off pouting in the corner "man they even gave dumbass Prometheus an eyeshadow and it's not even a real thing? Pfft didn't want to be one of those anyway."

also, unless you're Agatha Christie or a Bronte sister, you're an author, not an authoress. ETA: and even then, um, no.

oh come on, biathalon was featured prominently with figure skating in the best Roger Moore Bond movie, "For Your Eyes Only." It's the perfect villain winter sport. You just need to add "parachute jump" with it and it's a gold medal even England can win.

am I the only one who remembers the woman in Italy who had the judge tell her she wasn't raped because her pants were so tight they couldn't have been taken off without her own help/consent?

tl;dr don't exist, you're just asking for trouble.

oh please, isn't it obvious that PBO's just a beard for Beyonce and Michelle?

Olympics Security now handled by Tinky Winky...

I once lived next to neighbors who had one of these (I thought it was a horse when I first looked over their fence) and a barky hound dog whose names I forget. Mostly because in my mind I renamed them "Hound of the Baskervilles" and "Toby"

yeah can I speak to the public works department please, someone dropped a truckload of minced onions on my house... bring tissues please.

omg is that a gif of Doug Henning? *swoon* /magicianfanboy

no, actually they did air short parts of the much longer statement. There's another article showing the text of the speech and what was cut from broadcast; what was left was the part I remembered.

okay, thanks for putting this up there. I was sure I heard some anti discrimination speech (I'm on the east coast) and was wondering why no one else seemed to have heard it. Apparently I got the lite beer version. Beats the alternative (hallucinating it)