How.... old is he? Strung out thirty year old? Under-nourished sixty year old? I am genuinely confused.

How the hell you gonna come for someone else’s looks and you look like this???

The guitar blast at the beginning of When Doves Cry is absolute nonsense and absolute brilliance.

Well.....they’re dumb.

You’re wrong. Filters are an amazing tool for sorting out the people who I know I will find absolutely unbearable.

Patrick, you forgot one of the most important don’ts. Don’t use stupid filters. No Suzy, you don’t look cute with that stupid puppy dog filter or flower crown.

“I can’t say Merry Christmas anymore, also the Trail of Tears wasn’t as long as people say it was.”

Did you really just try to casually slide in your opinions about the Holocaust in all of this? It doesn’t matter where you land on the subject, that’s fucking weird dude.

Moms...are a race?

BREAKING: White Guy Continues To Fail Upward On Wave Of Hipster Bullshit

Speaking a former nice guy myself, it’s really hard to resist the temptation to “be understood.” I don’t know if women experience this same thing, maybe they’re eager to just get out in case things start to feel unsafe.

You seem healthy.

I would probably respond to this article, Drew, but I need to check with George Soros on what liberal talking points and affirmations I need for this subject. As a paid protester and actor hired by Open Society Foundations, I want to properly represent my opinion that aligns with His (Soros) views.

“I really believe I’d run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon.”

I don’t wanna get too “Fat old guy with no training” shrink on Trump but look at his body language when this dude’s talking. Arms wrapped tightly around himself and swaying. He’s literally rocking himself. I thought it was defensive at first (and it is) but it’s also meant to be comforting to himself.

This made my morning

“My work here is done.”

“Just let your SOUUUUULLLL STOOONNNEEE..”

You did. We have the request form on file.