Please don’t disparage ass like that. I’ve eaten cucumber, and I’ve eaten ass, and even post-gym “I didn’t know we’d be doing this” ass beats sour cucumber. Every. Goddamned. Time.

Yeah, I used to love Stewart’s ginger beer, but they discontinued it with no explanation several years ago, right as Moscow Mules and Dark & Stormies were coming back into vogue. Every time I pass a row of Stewart’s in a supermarket, I think, “Really?! You’re still pushing that key lime shit, but fucking ginger beer…

The only thing that ever happened was that they submitted a letter of intent about a possible project in Moscow that never went beyond that. No money was ever paid, no plans were ever made. There were no drafts. Nothing in the file.

Honestly, the book I found the most helpful was The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. I read a few, and it’s the only one I really recommend. I’m sure there are plenty of good books out there, but I tell friends who are expecting for the first time that if they pick up this one, and only this one, they’ll…

It’s really good.  You can smell the cheese from down the block (in a good way).  When I was last there a few months ago, it wasn’t BYO, as psybab said, and they had a pretty good wine menu.  It’s one of those places where, at the end of the meal, you can’t quite tell whether you’re food-drunk or drunk-drunk.  I…

I feel like these guidelines are rife with “...but if you do...” addenda.

Also, if they send you the information, pictures, etc., that you ask for and you don’t like what you see, then you’re gone. You don’t even have to tell them why. They can’t downplay the cons, they can’t pressure you into overlooking them, and they sure can’t get you to take a look at another car in their lot on the…

“I do not swear in front of my kids. In fact, I heard (my daughter) Emmy say, ‘What the heck!’ and I was like, ‘Where did you hear language like that?’” said Lauren Waugh, a mother of two from Poland, Ohio.

Well, if anyone can make Lindy West seem talented or hilarious, it’s Aidy Bryant, I guess...

The ’80s-set tale follows Marcus Arguello (Benjamin Wadsworth), a street kid with a reputation for violence, as he gets recruited by the dean (Doctor Strange’s Benedict Wong) to attend Kings Dominion . . .

Yeeeeaaaah, there isn’t really a great book for fathers that I’m aware of. Too many of them pander to the cliched, cartoonish masculinity of a stereotypical sitcom dad (“Think of holding your baby like holding a football! But don’t throw it!”) and are unhelpful at best and condescending at worst. The Expectant Father…

Yeah, it’s hard to think of another pop culture fixture where there was such an abrupt parting of the ways between the casual fans and the ride-or-die fans. Typically, there’s a slow, steady decline in quality even before a property’s “jump the shark” moment, as the fan base gets gradually whittled down to a core…

Oh, man, I remember when Dan Akroyd’s Crystal Head vodka was unveiled with this rambling 8-minute commercial, which goes in some interesting directions and at times borders on parody.  I watched it, and I recall thinking, “No. This isn’t real.... Maybe? No....No.” And then, a month later, I saw it on shelves and…

This was elegant, and I’m glad I read it. I feel like I more than got my click’s worth.

Here’s the thing, though: That’s definitely all bullshit. Not to spoil the movie, but Mysterio’s whole shtick is that he’s a master of special effects and illusions, which he uses to make people think he has special powers or that he’s someone else. Assuming this report is all legitimate, we’re going to go out on…

I can still re-watch the episode where they’re infiltrating James Cameron’s house and laugh every time.

No, you don’t understand. It’s cute when I do it....

Creed, Smash Mouth and Limp Bizkit appreciate your unwavering support, I’m sure.

MTV’s getting desperate, with the network in the process of rebooting a number of its old hits, including Daria, The Hills, Undressed, Aeon Flux, and now MTV Spring Break.

Nah, they’d lose money. The average individual theater can screen five movies per day. Once you jam a 10-15 minute intermission into each one, you either only have time to screen four movies at normal times or you’re left with one or two that you have to screen at off-peak times (that no one will buy tickets for). You…