Wait... Do you think "Sugar Snatch" is better? Y'know, because it's more alliterative? On the other hand, "twat" is such a fun word.

"Sugar twat"

Wow, what a completely arbitrary list. Why is Bud Light, which tastes virtually the same as Coors Light and Miller Lite, somehow below Natty Lite and Beast (which, I'll grant you, do taste pretty horrendous).

I think that the article was pretty clear in its focus on fitness taken to its most disturbing extremity.

Apparently, someone just installed a pole in the cave.

So, her entire online personal narrative reads like one of those fantastically annoying Facebook status updates that girls I went to high school with like to post, typically about something utterly mundane, in order to seem pensive and deep?

I know, right? Everyone always focuses on the Last Supper, and they always seem to gloss over the Last Brunch. I mean, where do you think "bottomless mimosas" even came from?

Haha. One of my female friends has a litmus test for guys that she goes out with. Within a few dates, she tells them about the time she took home three guys, and she only hangs on to the ones who aren't put off by the story...

This reminds me of when my friends and I started playing "Never Have I Ever" as a drinking game. For those who spent their 'teens and early twenties under a rock, basically, people in a group go around in a circle taking turns saying "Never have I ever ____," and everyone who has done the described activity takes a…

I think you wildly misread that comment, friend....

No joke. That's why I've always befriended sluts and ultimately married their queen. If someone can't return the serve when you lob a truly scintillating Saturday night story into the conversation, then why are you even day-drinking with them?

Clitoral ornaments are SO last year. It's so much cuter to pejazzle Hello Kitty onto your hoohah.

I'm 99% sure some of these images, including that one, were added after the article was originally posted...about six months ago.

"Harder, Chaz! I can still see her when I close my eyes!"

I...I think my soul is crying....

Yeah, all of the body fluids that are sexy in the moment (e.g., sweat, saliva, ejaculate, vaginal lubrication, etc.) start to seem pretty funky after the deed is done. Also, it feels really unpleasant to go to bed with all of that stuff drying on you.

If she wants to prove that she's good at making a baby, I'd be happy to watch.

I think the sequel is actually entitled "I Almost Swallowed You."

It's quite real. The food is really good (for a chain restaurant, so think "slightly better than Olive Garden and the Red Lobster"), the decor is a little ritzier (in the way that Las Vegas is "ritzy"), the menu is enormous (seriously, they need a Cliff's Notes version), and the portions are huge (you will have…