I say, in all seriousness and utterly without sarcasm, that you cannot put a price on a fine-looking ass.

Whoa, it sounds like *someone* wasn't fortunate enough to be raised by parents who cared enough to teach the evils of abortion via hand puppets...

Well played... This being Jezebel, you're going to get a helping of vitriol in the comments for every high-five you get, but still...well played.

She shops at New Navy, which is where all the affluent white people fled when minorities started shopping at Old Navy.

That man never fucking ages.

Eh, I can kind of understand this move. I've noticed that a lot of people who learned English as a second (or third) language in America have a harder time deciphering British accents than Americans who learned it as their first language. Since New York has a LOT of residents who learned English here as a second…

"You would have to be stationed in England during my formative years! I've never been taken for a real American. Oh, I went to see a linguist! Yes, I went to see a dialect coach, and the best I could do was [Southern drawl] 'You men stand ovah the-ah, on mah notation, until furthah notice.' They didn't buy it!"

Um.. My wife and a lot of our friends are Jewish, and that is EXACTLY how we celebrate Purim every year.

"Of course, this is something that could happen in any country at any time, and has nothing to do with India."

This is why we need randomly generated, government-issued names, a la Kurt Vonnegut's Slapstick.

On International Women's Day too.

Do your phone number, home address, and/or e-mail address represent confidential information? No, not at all. There are numerous completely legal ways of finding out what any of those are. Still, you have a fair amount of control insofar as keeping it out of the hands of anyone you really don't want to have it, and…

Either that or, because the Internet is kind of a crappy medium for conveying deadpan humor in the first place, people can post any dumbass thing at all, completely devoid of tone, and claim it was sarcasm after the fact.

I see from your responses to other commenters that you were (supposedly) going for sarcasm here, and you seem to be be blaming everyone else's "sarcasm meters" for failing to pick up on that.

You're oversimplifying it. You're describing a situation that encompasses a barista asking a customer out while she waits for her coffee, a waiter asking out a customer when he drops the check, and any of a thousand scenarios where someone on the job is able to ask someone out in a completely non-invasive and…

"...rebellious firecrackers like Courtney Love..."

Everyone who dates around does this. Before I got married, all of the girls I saw had nicknames because typically all my friends had to identify them was whatever story I had told them. So, there was the Anesthesiologist, Capital City Ale House Girl, Dancer from Velvet, Citibank Teller, the Flight Attendant,…

Other commenters have already helpfully spoken up with the correct answer, but I'd like to add that virtually every slang term related to fitness is inherently douchey-sounding.

Sigh... Politics as usual. Just more shameless pandering to the big booty freak demographic...

Well, because you're treating/regarding people differently based upon their race, yeah, it's "racist" by its strictest, most objective definition, but that's not really the point. This isn't really the type of racism that makes you THAT much worse of a person.