This really is the best. You're pretty damn awesome.

Didn't he just turtle and what we're seeing is just his nut sack ashamed and flipping up to cover things? Because balls look out for men that way. Even if we ignore them all the time. They are really loyal.

Hah. I am a bit drunk and read this as "china doll set" and got insanely creeped out.

Nope. I don't know you, but I know more about dogs and training them than you do.

Late to this thread, but chain collars are for idiots. Your dad got lucky he didn't choke out one of them. And they are shit training for hard-headed idiot dogs like hunting dogs.

Late to this thread, but man you aren't kidding. Fucking knobs.

Late to this commentary thread. My parents used wooden spoons until one broke off on my older sister's ass. Then they switched to metal ones for me.

Hey. Coming into this a few weeks late, but wanted to acknowledge Jason's as well as your own trials. I have been on the other end of that metal as well (a spoon in my case, because they switched out from wooden cooking spoons after one broke on my sister). I'm guessing I did not endure the abuse you did, and…

It's hilarious in the book if you've not read it. I thought that book sucked...so much exposition, it could have been about 125 pages long. But the pages spent on b card obsession were great.

I had a title once that was "Director of Global Market [Something]." And at my next job the CEO gave me so much grief...she thought "Global" was a hilariously weighted proclamation. I agree with her. But regardless, it made for a very long title on a business card.

Just got this one. 25% off...:

I second that. For websites, maybe (still a bit too small) but people see actual objects with much, much higher resolution than stuff on monitors. I think I went down to like 8 or even 6 point on mine and there aren't any readability issues, as far as I know and as far as how people have responded to them.

Those generic software packages on those cheap websites (not a shot at them...I used them for mine) are maddening. Why wouldn't you put a ruler/grids etc on a design application like that? Jeez.

..... when do you NOT shake someone's hand in a professional setting?

Hah. Or "Patrick" like "Patrick Bateman"...I laughed when I looked this up as my font's pretty close to his.

Might be misunderstanding, but I (constructively) disagree with you a bit on the assumed misunderstanding about myself and technology...I do write down/record info from websites often. I figure the QR is just an alternative to someone "copy link(ing)" an email address I'd rather not provide online. Where these are…

Thanks Patrick! I think this is one of the few Lifehacker posts where I actually felt like I had my act together. I visit often and it's always a humbling experience to read your stuff. :-)

I went ahead and made mine 1x1. Wanted to err on the side of resolution. It's easily scannable from an acceptable distance. A bit bigger on my website.

The multi-round launcher is capable not only of shooting those gargantuan rubber bullets you see in the video

I have those folding business cards. In addition to enabling a lot of info about me and my consulting business, it's interesting in that customers invariably put them in a "tent" that's standing up throughout the meeting. They like it. The only drawback is that they're thick and you can only carry a few on you. I…