Huh?

I'm gonna have to work those hand dancing motions into my masturbation routine. That just has some panache. I already play "For Whom The Bell Tolls," so this just seems like a logical and delightful next step. Row that fuckin' boat.

I want an open kitchen so it would be easier to throw things at people who come to my house with the expectation of being entertained. By me. Or some combination of me and them.

The mother of his kids will tell them all about this Pump Fake!

"I feel his pain. It could have been worse. Thank god no snacks were involved."

Outstanding.

Predators center Mike Fisher contested a brief but even battle with a chipmunk intruder over the weekend, as chronicled by wife Carrie Underwood.

"Meanwhile, there's Nadal's name being announced at Arthur Ashe Stadium as he was making his way onto center court, loud enough to echo throughout Louis Armstrong Stadium. Nadal's name was shouted a few moments after Federer went down a break in the second set—a set that he'd lose shortly thereafter."

I think cops deserve to get in a free tase anytime a guy is acting tough as they push him away. Maybe two.

Eh. The guy has full of rich targets...I think it's lame of deadspin to perpetuate the Google bomb around the five hookers. Yeah, I know it's linked, but...focus on his primary and objective lameness.

SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!!!

Jeffrey Tambor was a very ugly baby.

You can tell that douchebag coach getting pushed back by (and enjoying the safety of) the cops is all "you're lucky my chick's here!" to the other team. I always love that transition from fear to chickenshit macho.

Hah. You said White Team.

They initially tried a slope but realized that would have similar hilarious results.

Now Pete Prisco understands how concussions can affect fake journalists.

In other news, Chris Kluwe ended up not talking more shit about how the Raiders' training camp was so much better than the Vikings'.

Oliver Stone'd

She looks pretty damn mean in this pic, like she would stick a shiv in your neck if you came between her and that bottle. Combine this picture and the header pic and you have a recipe for getting flayed alive if you ever crossed her.

Man, soccer enthusiasts really will do anything to promote soccer as a legit US sport that's just like all the other ones.