Ha, for sure. After long bike rides or post-basketball, that shower’s coming quick.

I thought we were made of stardust?

Happily married, one kid and another on the way.

I’ll have to give it a look, thanks for the heads up.

That the same thing you get with fluoridated water? Got no problem with that, either.

I’ll have to look into that, thanks for the tip.

Cheers, friend.

No, but that’s a good one.

Nope, vaccinating all my kids as soon as humanly possible, and am very much for schools and doctor’s offices not accepting kids that don’t. You want little Jaelynn to get the measles, keep her the fuck away from my kids, please.

I wish.

I don’t think the lather means it’s cleaning, I’m saying that the paste itself does not stay a paste, and does not stay on my teeth all day.

I’m not necessarily worried about it killing me. The drinking will do that far sooner, I’m well aware. I just don’t like the way it feels, and don’t like the idea of a bunch of unnatural shit slowly being absorbed into sensitive part of my body every day.

Now that’s interesting. I’ll have to keep my nose on-point as I get older.

Diet has a lot to do with it, as well. You smell less if you don’t eat a lot of processed food and eat more vegetables and fruits than meat.

I am lactose-intolerant and do not drink milk of any sort.

Is 33 a millennial? I was nearly 17 when the 21st century started, and I clearly remember the world before the Internet.

Yeah man, you rub soap on you to wash the stinky stuff away and then you rinse it off before you get out of the shower. If you don’t rinse it off, there’s a gross film that feels like shit, and if you let it build up it can cause all kinds of unsightly blemishes.

Toothpaste foams into a sudsy lather as you brush, and then rinse your mouth out when you’re done brushing. If I had to slather a paste on my teeth and leave it there all day, I probably wouldn’t do that, either.

“Anti-persperant is bad because it fucks with your body’s natural waste-excretion process, and deodorant is basically just rubbing chemicals on your pits to cover up the smell.”

The ESPN coaches room for the national title game was a lot of fun, but two major complaints: it made me nauseous a few times with the constant All-22 rewinding, and it totally took me out of the moment on those final drives. While it was a good time watching the coaches all lose their shit down the stretch, and to…