I’m confused. Why is everybody all excited about some old wizard? Magic isn’t real, guys.

So that’s what MDMA does to your face? Yikes.

Amazing.

Fake!

How is he protecting your privacy? That doesn’t even make senss......oooooh! I see what you did there.

Me too. It was a breeze. And everybody was super nice and helpful.

?! It took me 20 minutes to get my passport renewed and get a brand new one for my daughter. I don’t remember how much it was, but not more than $60, I think. They came in the mail in about 3 weeks. The lady at the office said it could take 4-6, but they came early.

Seriously. Why would I need to go to Venice, for instance when I can go take a gondola ride in Vegas. YEAH!!!! VEGAS, BABY!!!!

Jesus Christ. Me too!

I assume the skateboards were there to distract from the shitty clown outfits.

Well, for starters, because we’re not monsters like the fucking Nazis were.

I suppose. I proposed to my wife during a Halloween party. I had bought the ring earlier that day and had it in my pocked. The plan was to organize a big fancy proposal in a couple of weeks, but I saw her standing there looking beautiful, handing out candy to kids and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I dropped to my…

I think he was joking about how “good looking” he himself is.

Yup. Twitter is like the Youtube comment section, but without the fun videos.

HEY! In ‘murika it’s always the filthy woman’s fault! Duh!

Stop donating to Kickstarter and other crowdfunding scam sights. If these people actually had a decent idea, product, script, whatever, they’d be able to get funding without suckers “donating” their hard-earned money.

“You took my mom,” said Almer. “You kicked her right off the cliff.”

This brainiac has reproduced? What wonderful news.

Hell yes. Brought tears to my eyes and goosebumps to my arms. Congratulations!

When you shake it over ice, the booze gets super cooled. Then you pour it over ice to keep it cold.