"This is the worst thing that has ever happened in my life."

Here, so my head isn't the only one this is stuck in:

got nuts on Sam Ryan's mic

I hear Bill Gates suggested they just turn him off and then back on again.

If I don't see a gif of that in the next 20 minutes, Steve Jobs died for nothing.

Epic F bomb right there. Don't ever change, Nyjer.

"That's the last time I ask Muhammad Ali to sign my math homework."

But false pride was of absolutely NO use to me, because I spent way too much time thinking highly of myself when I could have spent more time working on becoming a more complete person and finding real and true friends and building a support system for myself.

This Is What It’s Like To Be Hung, Over At 34

late, but +1

+1

This is mostly for Uwe, but this song fucking rules.

As we walked around to our section, there was a loud roar and the chant "FUCK MIAMI"" was deafening.

The commercial's first draft featured Busta Rhymes rapping while Brady ran a 40-yard dash, but he exhausted his entire catalogue half-way through.

Peyton Manning Reportedly Had Additional Neck Surgery Today

The kerfuffle originally escalated when the cab driver refused to except Keebler cookies as a form of payment.

+1

I've been banned twice for trying to bring DS funny (you know, offensive) into Jezebel comments. The groupthink going on there is outstandingly Orwellian. Also, not only do they all love sex, they all have impossibly large breasts (seriously, read the comments on anything to do with bras or surgery or life).

Also, having lived in Oregon for a bit— not that inexplicable. Very physically fit populace, and more than their fair share of cuties.

Speaking of get-ups, Brent Musberger's shirt and tie combination is apparently brought to you tonight by Stevie Wonder Stylists.