@Lionel Osbourne: Can I double down on that?

Hmm, who would've thought a Duke acolyte would so completely and unequivocally buy in to his favorite team's fabricated sense of horseshit mysticism? Really branching out here, Ben.

Patronizingly Edited WNBA Playoffs Highlights

"Now we're gonna put a ring on it."

Tom Mees - $20,000, a VooDoo priestess and two ears of newt

But wait, there's more! If you order right now, not only will we make it a 4-pack of tickets, we'll also pay your legal fees when you inevitably face charges for kidnapping your 3 companions! Nats excitement, feel it!

Somehow I always thought seeing Jay Marrioti covered in hot liquid bronze would be more satisfying.

"I'm working on a new one I call, The 5 People You Meet in the Return Line of a Sears Roebuck."

Dead [Inside] Wrestler of the Week

@Samer Ocho Cinco: Hey, hey, hey. In our defense, it turned out to be like, work, and stuff.

But seriously, how Midwestern is Will? Even for an anniversary, he's early.

I came for the sports info, but I stayed for the ability to author extremely crass and offensive AIDS jokes under the rich cloak of Internet anonymity.

@DAULERIO: Right now I'm just getting my morning Joakim Noah on before spending most of today on the PA turnpike, but I'll see what I can do.

I just hope that Jezebel doesn't have an intern...you guys wouldn't believe what A.J. makes poor David do over at DS.

@Phintastic: Ah missed that, clearly. Thanks for the shout-out.

Not sure if anyone's here who has been around long enough to appreciate the irony of this, but I received "Comment of the Day" on Jezebel today.

@morninggloria: That's good, but talk to me when you've been banned 5 times (thrice rescinded), and 3 starrings to boot.

So I now have 2 bannings* and 1 comment of the day...that has to be some sort of blog commenter Hat Trick.

@metalmaniac: Yeah, that cowardly fucking punk, daring to defend himself from 2 people who became physically violent without a provocation in-kind (and he didn't even take a swing in doing so).

@BAngieB: Yes, yes, of course. Lindsay Lohan has never done cocaine, where could I have gotten such a ridiculous thought?