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If Kat Stacks isn't a nickname for Katy Perry, then it should be.

AJ's interests include candlelit dinners, long walks on the beach, and periodically insulting our intelligence.

PAT: "I don't have a number for you on that. But we're working on it."

Tim Tebow is a Christian? Huh. You'd really think he'd advertise something like that a little more.

A big part of my disease is wanting to "collect" women to keep around just in case,

Dashiell Bennett

Every time I went to Drew he said, "THAT'S BETWEEN YOU AND PLAX, COCKSUCKER."

@StuckBetweenStations: +1

"Are you shouting baseless contrarianisms at me? I said, are you shouting baseless contrarianisms at ME?"

Uh, doesn't it kind of defeat the point to select a passage that makes zero reference to racing?

@FarmRaised: +1

@Phintastic: Yeah I actually forgot my first rule, which is that anything can be funny, it's just most things aren't.

On the other side, a little thing called the facts.

Big deal. Woody Paige is locked in a dog kennel somewhere right now.

@Steve U: Super late, but +1

[redacted because I'm fucking sick of Emmitt Smith jokes]

Pitchfork gives Teenage Poop Vandals' debut album an 8.3/10, along with 500 incomprehensible words focusing on their "fiberous timbre."

The ruckus began when someone suggested a method of jeans production other than stonewashing.

@The Krampus: Late, but +1